Wanna know the one thing pretty much every restaurant in China has on their
menu? From fast food places to coffee
houses to sit down restaurants, it’s Mei
You (pronounced May Yo). What is it,
you ask? It means “We don’t have it.” Maybe my 2nd or 3rd day
in Guangzhou, I was strolling around the neighborhood by my hotel, and decided
to grab dinner at a Kung Fu –China’s #1 ‘native’ fast food place, based in
Guangzhou (their “mascot” is a very unsubtle Bruce Lee-type image, tho they don’t
have permission to use it and thus it is not “officially” Bruce Lee). ANYWAY, they were advertising what looked
like a Kung Pao chicken type dish at a reasonable price (15 yuan – or about
$2.50) on the door and in the restaurant so I asked for it. The cashier promptly said Mei You and waved her hand dismissively to
help me understand. I was still
surprised – how could they not have something so prominently advertised when
she was offering, instead, a variety of other dishes that seemed to have
some/all of the ingredients in this particular dish they didn’t have? In any case, I was so disappointed, and so “set
up” to have what I hoped would be like Kung Pao chicken, I went and ate
somewhere else.
Maybe
a week later, I was in another part of town, on another day of the week, and at
a different time, and came across another Kung Fu – still advertising the
possibly Kung Pao chickenesque dish all over the restaurant. When I tried to order it, though, I got
another mei you. Enraged, I left again without ordering. Fast forward another couple of weeks and I’m
settled in my new apartment, which of course conveniently has a Kung Fu right
around the corner. That is still
prominently advertising the same dish.
And still giving me the mei you when
I tried to order it a third time. This
time, I did order another sort of combo meal so I could at least see if I liked
their food since it was so close to me.
Turns out I don’t. Ha! The main dish was okay, rather bland, but
their soup was nasty. And I’m so pissed/over
their ridiculous inability to have a dish they continue to advertise so
prominently, I’ve just given up on ever eating there again.
But,
as I say, it’s not just the Kung Fus that stupidly don’t plan/arrange to ensure
they have the ingredients/whatever to serve stuff prominently advertised in
their establishment. I went to a
restaurant nearby with Bex and Nicky one night that gave me a mei you when I tried to order a particular
chicken dish on their menu; the Maan Coffee across the street from our Center
has NEVER had the particular smoothie I’ve wanted, prominently advertised on
their menu, though I’ve tried to get it three times now, spread apart over the
course of a month (another time, I got a mei
you when trying to order a certain flatbread they have displayed in their
showcase menu); even the Burger King near my apartment has “mei you’d” me out of their new “Chinese style”
chicken nuggets. And so on and so on and
so on. All I can say is: GHET-TO!
NEXT:
So I’ve had a few encounters with the local medical system by now and,
honestly, it’s no worse (although not necessarily any better) than the system
in the U.S. I went for an eye exam to
monitor my glaucoma and eye pressure and luckily there is a clinic near my
Center that takes our insurance and has English speaking staff. I had to use a translator with the
opthamologist (who only comes to this clinic once a month) and he told me that
while things are “okay,” I might be better served going to a hospital out in
Panyu (i.e., the sticks of Guangzhou) that has better medical equipment for eye
stuff. I had a bit of a row with them
upon leaving when they wanted me to pay the whole bill after saying my
insurance told them it wasn’t covered.
Even though I had the money on me, I told them I didn’t so they were
forced to get on the phone with my insurance, and once *I* talked to them, they
were very polite and confirmed, yes, I only needed to pay my 10% co-pay – which
ended up being a little over $10 for the exam and tests.
My
one visit to the dentist was even better – no co-pay, a VERY nice office
(again, not too very far from my center – actually, in between my center and my
apt.), and they had the current “teeth cleaning technology” that uses the high
pressure water to blast the shit off your teeth, rather than scraping it with
those horrid little sharp hook thingys.
Hell, my last dentist in San Francisco didn’t even have that yet.
Finally,
I went to an even nearer small clinic a few weeks ago when I was suffering from
“pollution sore throat,” and got a prescription to clear out my lungs, as well
as 3 “inhaler” treatments of a sort of saline solution to unblock my head of
the crap I’d been breathing in. Very
effective, and ZERO co-pay for all of that.
So, on the whole, thinking about it, my experience has been pretty much
equal to that of health care in the U.S. and at a much lower cost to me
out-of-pocket. Big surprise.
As
for local remedies, they’re effective, too – but at a cost. I got some throat lozenges in a little shop
on our way to Hong Kong one day as I had a pretty sore throat. While they worked very well, they also stank
to high heaven. The locals couldn’t even
tell me what the ingredient is that’s in it/makes it stink, but even they find
it “odorific.” Poor Bex had gotten some
herself and everyone around us for the next few days hated on us when we used
them. There would be this sudden head
movement, a sniff, and then a “My gawd! What is that horrible smell?” But, again, WAY more effective than any
throat lozenges I ever had in the states.
Speaking
of Bex, I’ve learned thanks to her that the British are just as arrogant as the
Chinese, the Americans, the French, the Russians, etc. She is SO easy to bait about the English
language, about British imperialism & history, etc., and gets SO
pissed/huffy when you dare to suggest any of their culture, language, way of
doing things is outdated/silly/whatever.
I mean, you should have heard her go on and on and on
lecturing/haranguing me about the “true” nature of England’s coal history when
I used the never-heard-by-her idiom, “carry coals to Newcastle.” She completely missed the point about the
idiom (but don't tell HER that) and acted like *I* was the asshole who made it up and didn’t listen to
her “enthralling” lecture about how Durham or some such place actually provided
Newcastle’s coal and built the Titanic or some such rot when all I was doing
was using a cute phrase, of British
origin, to talk about how useless it was to try and educate the Chinese
about how uncivilized they are! But
listening to her, you would have thought that, in my “American ignorance,” *I*
made up the idiom that originated over 400 years ago. In England!
I
mean, bless her heart, I love Bex to death, but talking to her sometimes reminds
me of when I would talk with some of the Russians and they’d go on and on about
how THEY were the ones who really won WWII, dammit, and the U.S. is just full
of arrogant, stupid, lazy assholes blah blah blah (if I had a nickel for every
time Bex used the phrase “American asshole”!) It’s quite amusing on the one
hand, and kind of cute/amazing on the other considering that, honestly, the
British are SO “passé” anymore. Sorry, Bex honey, but it’s true. Although, to
be fair, it’s hard to think who really “rules the world” right now in terms of
cultural and/or political and/or economic impact. I
suppose, on the whole, it’s still the U.S., but the violence and otherwise
down-the-drain-dysfunction of its political system makes it seem like a pyrrhic
leadership, at best. And from what I’ve
seen & read & experienced of China so far, they hardly seem poised to
be true world leaders themselves. Again, SO uncivilized! Maybe now it’s just “regional” leaders –
Germany in Europe, China (India?) in Asia, and who knows in those
still-suffering-from-Western-imperialism southern hemisphere continents.
