Yay, a stream-of-consciousness blog posting while watching the movie "Brief Interviews with Hideous Men."
Previews: Flame & Citron. Anyone heard of or seen this movie? I’ll undoubtedly Google it, but I’m hooked by the trailer. A movie on the Danish Resistance movement against the Nazis with such cool nicknames? I’m there! :)
Hmmm, also a preview for a movie featuring familial blowback from the Irish Resistance movement. It looks much more depressing; but now I’m trying to figure out the “demographic” I’m supposed to be matching to have these kinds of previews before the movie “Brief Interviews with Hideous Men.”
Wait, corporaphilia? Is that what he said? Is that a real condition?
What’s funny is, this one straight guy’s fantasy just sounded SO delusional and amazingly piggy, until I realized I have had a similar fantasy myself! HA!
OMG, this black guy is an effing hoot. His critique of the different types of male lovers is spot on and delivered in a fabulously fun way.
“Schizophrenic media discourse, personified by Cosmo.” It all makes perfect sense now. Seriously! NOW I understand straight women. Woo-hoo!
Oh god, a guy with a half-arm, “Johnny One,” played by Bobby Cannavale of all people, keeps saying these things that requires you to make quote marks with your fingers and he bobs the half-arm every time he makes the quote marks with the fingers on his good arm (via hand, of course).
But he calls the half arm “the asset” now coz he uses it to get, as he puts it, “More pussy than a toilet seat.” Mmmmmmm....oh wait, I mean, Ewwwwwwwww!
Ha! Best line yet in summing up the way guys think and how they view women: “My leaving is not a confirmation of your fears. It isn’t. It is because of them.” The best part is, these guys could only be so Zen out of blithe cluelessness—never consciously.
Josh Charles! This movie has a TON of random actors! John Krasinksi! Timothy Hutton! (my god, “Ordinary People” seems SO long ago now!), Christopher Meloni, Max Minghella, Will Arnett!
Ding ding ding! The dumped woman has “the” epiphany about men: “Cowards! You’re all cowards!”
Oh wow – a surprisingly powerful biographical/auto-biographical spoken word/poetry exchange between a late-middle-aged Black guy and his “Hotel Bathroom Negro” father. Pretty socko ending from the son.
Wow, What’s-his-face-from-Dawson’s-Creek (or a guy that looks just like him—oh wait, maybe it’s the guy from “Across the Universe”) just blew my mind!
It’s amazing how genuinely shocked so many women are when they “finally” discover that men are pigs. I mean, Duh!
Oh yeah, the book the movie was based on was written by David Foster Wallace!
I like how they tell at the END why she was interviewing them.
Dang. I was hoping for bonus features with deleted scenes/”interviews.”
While the Grade A Trainwreck undoubtedly helped, I highly recommend this movie for anyone in the mood to laugh at men AND women—straight ones, that is—and how they still don’t "get" each other although they all act the same way, on some level, based, obviously, almost entirely, on their sex.
Duh.
5/26/10
Red, White, & Blue VS. Red State, Blue State
So last night, I was smoking/leaning out my window overlooking Hyde when I see a motorcycle cop has stopped traffic on Sutter crossing Hyde. Not only that, he is ABSOLUTELY forbidding any pedestrians to even cross the street. I look up and down the block and see the same thing, flashing lights parked motorcycles at the intersections of Hyde & Post, Hyde & Bush, etc.
After an eternity, a long line of motorcycle cops then come zooming down the street, lights flashing, occasional honk/siren--it looked pretty cool, actually. Then there's another break/pause and people try to sneak across the street only to be thwarted by the cop. Then another long line of motorcycle cops and I'm thinking, "These can't ALL be SFPD - I can't imagine they even have that many..." duh, when it dawns on me, for this type of heavy-duty blocking, and the endless sporadic lines of motorcycle cops, it can only mean......PRESIDENTIAL MOTORCADE!
Woo-hoo! I was surprised to realize it was the first time I'd ever seen one "live." It was pretty impressive/cool; all the motorcycles, all the other cars, the monstrous, almost square, tank-size limos, the flashing lights, the cheering crowds, etc. And President Obama, whizzing by my window, not even 15 feet away from me, the closest I've been to a "sitting President." And yes, I have to admit it, it was pretty effing cool. As cynical as I am, as disappointed in Obama as I am, it was still pretty cool. So much for being a "commie Blue stater."
But speaking of, I have to share another guy's blog post coz it is just spot on, and I'm hoping some of my "Red State" friends and family can possibly explain the statistics referenced below:
By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
So I'm skimming like a mud puddle Jesus through another hunk of grammatically wretched hate mail, kindly informing me that both I and the city in which I live are godless, stinky insults to all humanity (yawn), that all of us here in Perverted Pelosiville are depraved sickos due in no small part to our pathetic liberal values (zzzz), our lack of openly displayed firearms and our obvious adoration of terrorists, immigrants, communism, anal sex, artisan coffee, organic produce and, of course, organic analterrorist sexcoffee.
All told, it's a rather uninspired, typically brainless hunk of Tea Party-grade spittle, true 2nd grade stuff that's nowhere near as nasty as some of the hate mail I used to get back in the 00's BAC (Before Anonymous Commenting) -- the absolute finest examples of which, by the way, I've included in my book, "The Daring Spectacle." It's something to see.
But this time, because this message keeps trumpeting the same old childish cliches about San Francisco in particular and blue state values in general, it caused me to actually do something I haven't done since Glenn Beck was knee-high to a crocodile tear...
I paused. Just before I hit the delete key, I actually stopped and wondered: What would happen if I did something I simply never do, and actually tried to engage this person, just a little, to speak to him with reason and tact, try to show him some facts and actual data, recent studies and long-term reports that prove, once again and for the 100th time, that the infamous "blue state" values -- particularly those about family and family structure -- that they so fear and abhor are, well, actually some of the most stable and healthiest in the country?
What if I were to trot out the irrefutable stats about, say, education levels, or teen pregnancy rates, or abortion? How about college graduation rates, marriage stability, or even adoption? What about general health? Obesity? What if I were to casually mention, with sufficient factual backup, how blue states tend to trounce nearly every red state across the board in these key markers?
Would it matter? Would the spittle-flecked bipeds who write to me (or comment down below) and misspell "commy" and "sodimite" listen or care in the slightest? I already know the answer.
But I paused on this piece of mail because I had just finished a fine article that discussed a new book, "Red Families v. Blue Families: Legal Polarization and the Creation of Culture," written by a pair of typical elitist academic types the Tea Party crowd is so scared of (we hippies call these types "professors") detailing, in essence, how the "family values" that the red states so desperately cling to like drowning monkeys are exactly the ones that are undermining and sabotaging family stability in the first place. In other words, "family values" are the bane of family values. Did you already know? Of course you did.
Examples? Legion. You've probably already read about teen pregnancy rates in relation to religious belief (ref: this terrific piece from the New Yorker). It's a simple enough equation: the more religiously conservative a given state is, the more it's guaranteed to be lacking in quality sex education, easy access to -- and information about -- contraception and women's health, and the more it tends to wallow in fear of sex, the body and the stickier dynamics of human relationships.
Upshot: As the strict, antiquated religious codes of these states fail -- as they have for millennia -- a far higher number of those states' sad, uninformed teenaged girls get knocked up, marry far too young, get divorced, never get a real education, earn low wages and generally contribute to every unpleasant and downward spiraling statistic in America, right along with the slumpy males. Yay family values!
Check it: "Six of the seven states with the lowest divorce rates in 2007, and all seven with the lowest teen birthrates in 2006, voted blue in both elections. Six of the seven states with the highest divorce rates in 2007, and five of the seven with the highest teen birthrates, voted red."
With numbers like that, it's hard not to shudder in frustration, hit with an urge to hurl this information all over Fox News and the fundamentalist lintballs from the far right.
Let's pose it this way: Do you want a stable family, low divorce rate, low abortion rate, low teen pregnancy, an emphasis on intelligence, maturity and higher education? Would you like to more fully engage in the information economy, get a good job with high wages, live healthier and more spiritually free? Don't move to Alaska, or Kansas, or Texas, or any of the states so wildly drunk on "family values," silly. You go blue all the way. I mean, isn't it obvious?
(Did I mention how San Francisco was just rated the leanest city in the nation by Men's Health magazine, an admittedly mindless ranking, but still somewhat telling, especially considering Texas is home to five of the fattest cities on Earth? It's true. San Francisco is looking damn good in those jeans. Though that's probably just because we get the best cocaine and MDMA. Shhh.)
Of course, the instant I considered sending the depressed haters of me, you, this city, all "blue state" values a link to this or any of the other fine articles detailing the utter failure and bassackwardness of conservative "family values" mindsets, I just laughed and sighed and reached for my mug of analterrorist sexcoffee, remembering quite well my own hard-fought advice, dispersed not long ago.
It was a column titled, if you will, "How to talk to complete idiots" (also featured in the book, btw), which details the tragic failure of facts, science and research in the face of those real red state values, such as hysteria, alarmism and a childlishly literal interpretation of wonky Christian mythology.
But it gets better: Because even if they accept the data as partly true, the typical red state reaction is to argue that the real reason teen pregancy, abortion, divorce and so on are far worse in the "family values" states is not because the rules and religions are flawed and outdated, but because they aren't being enforced strictly enough. And for that, they blame ... you guessed it ... the liberals.
Ah, disingenuous doublethink. It's a family value.
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2010/05/12/notes051210.DTL#ixzz0nlogFxPX
After an eternity, a long line of motorcycle cops then come zooming down the street, lights flashing, occasional honk/siren--it looked pretty cool, actually. Then there's another break/pause and people try to sneak across the street only to be thwarted by the cop. Then another long line of motorcycle cops and I'm thinking, "These can't ALL be SFPD - I can't imagine they even have that many..." duh, when it dawns on me, for this type of heavy-duty blocking, and the endless sporadic lines of motorcycle cops, it can only mean......PRESIDENTIAL MOTORCADE!
Woo-hoo! I was surprised to realize it was the first time I'd ever seen one "live." It was pretty impressive/cool; all the motorcycles, all the other cars, the monstrous, almost square, tank-size limos, the flashing lights, the cheering crowds, etc. And President Obama, whizzing by my window, not even 15 feet away from me, the closest I've been to a "sitting President." And yes, I have to admit it, it was pretty effing cool. As cynical as I am, as disappointed in Obama as I am, it was still pretty cool. So much for being a "commie Blue stater."
But speaking of, I have to share another guy's blog post coz it is just spot on, and I'm hoping some of my "Red State" friends and family can possibly explain the statistics referenced below:
By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
So I'm skimming like a mud puddle Jesus through another hunk of grammatically wretched hate mail, kindly informing me that both I and the city in which I live are godless, stinky insults to all humanity (yawn), that all of us here in Perverted Pelosiville are depraved sickos due in no small part to our pathetic liberal values (zzzz), our lack of openly displayed firearms and our obvious adoration of terrorists, immigrants, communism, anal sex, artisan coffee, organic produce and, of course, organic analterrorist sexcoffee.
All told, it's a rather uninspired, typically brainless hunk of Tea Party-grade spittle, true 2nd grade stuff that's nowhere near as nasty as some of the hate mail I used to get back in the 00's BAC (Before Anonymous Commenting) -- the absolute finest examples of which, by the way, I've included in my book, "The Daring Spectacle." It's something to see.
But this time, because this message keeps trumpeting the same old childish cliches about San Francisco in particular and blue state values in general, it caused me to actually do something I haven't done since Glenn Beck was knee-high to a crocodile tear...
I paused. Just before I hit the delete key, I actually stopped and wondered: What would happen if I did something I simply never do, and actually tried to engage this person, just a little, to speak to him with reason and tact, try to show him some facts and actual data, recent studies and long-term reports that prove, once again and for the 100th time, that the infamous "blue state" values -- particularly those about family and family structure -- that they so fear and abhor are, well, actually some of the most stable and healthiest in the country?
What if I were to trot out the irrefutable stats about, say, education levels, or teen pregnancy rates, or abortion? How about college graduation rates, marriage stability, or even adoption? What about general health? Obesity? What if I were to casually mention, with sufficient factual backup, how blue states tend to trounce nearly every red state across the board in these key markers?
Would it matter? Would the spittle-flecked bipeds who write to me (or comment down below) and misspell "commy" and "sodimite" listen or care in the slightest? I already know the answer.
But I paused on this piece of mail because I had just finished a fine article that discussed a new book, "Red Families v. Blue Families: Legal Polarization and the Creation of Culture," written by a pair of typical elitist academic types the Tea Party crowd is so scared of (we hippies call these types "professors") detailing, in essence, how the "family values" that the red states so desperately cling to like drowning monkeys are exactly the ones that are undermining and sabotaging family stability in the first place. In other words, "family values" are the bane of family values. Did you already know? Of course you did.
Examples? Legion. You've probably already read about teen pregnancy rates in relation to religious belief (ref: this terrific piece from the New Yorker). It's a simple enough equation: the more religiously conservative a given state is, the more it's guaranteed to be lacking in quality sex education, easy access to -- and information about -- contraception and women's health, and the more it tends to wallow in fear of sex, the body and the stickier dynamics of human relationships.
Upshot: As the strict, antiquated religious codes of these states fail -- as they have for millennia -- a far higher number of those states' sad, uninformed teenaged girls get knocked up, marry far too young, get divorced, never get a real education, earn low wages and generally contribute to every unpleasant and downward spiraling statistic in America, right along with the slumpy males. Yay family values!
Check it: "Six of the seven states with the lowest divorce rates in 2007, and all seven with the lowest teen birthrates in 2006, voted blue in both elections. Six of the seven states with the highest divorce rates in 2007, and five of the seven with the highest teen birthrates, voted red."
With numbers like that, it's hard not to shudder in frustration, hit with an urge to hurl this information all over Fox News and the fundamentalist lintballs from the far right.
Let's pose it this way: Do you want a stable family, low divorce rate, low abortion rate, low teen pregnancy, an emphasis on intelligence, maturity and higher education? Would you like to more fully engage in the information economy, get a good job with high wages, live healthier and more spiritually free? Don't move to Alaska, or Kansas, or Texas, or any of the states so wildly drunk on "family values," silly. You go blue all the way. I mean, isn't it obvious?
(Did I mention how San Francisco was just rated the leanest city in the nation by Men's Health magazine, an admittedly mindless ranking, but still somewhat telling, especially considering Texas is home to five of the fattest cities on Earth? It's true. San Francisco is looking damn good in those jeans. Though that's probably just because we get the best cocaine and MDMA. Shhh.)
Of course, the instant I considered sending the depressed haters of me, you, this city, all "blue state" values a link to this or any of the other fine articles detailing the utter failure and bassackwardness of conservative "family values" mindsets, I just laughed and sighed and reached for my mug of analterrorist sexcoffee, remembering quite well my own hard-fought advice, dispersed not long ago.
It was a column titled, if you will, "How to talk to complete idiots" (also featured in the book, btw), which details the tragic failure of facts, science and research in the face of those real red state values, such as hysteria, alarmism and a childlishly literal interpretation of wonky Christian mythology.
But it gets better: Because even if they accept the data as partly true, the typical red state reaction is to argue that the real reason teen pregancy, abortion, divorce and so on are far worse in the "family values" states is not because the rules and religions are flawed and outdated, but because they aren't being enforced strictly enough. And for that, they blame ... you guessed it ... the liberals.
Ah, disingenuous doublethink. It's a family value.
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2010/05/12/notes051210.DTL#ixzz0nlogFxPX
5/13/10
Deep thoughts, cheap shots, and bon mots the eighth
So I was standing at my window, overlooking Hyde, when a woman driving a Honda and turning left onto Hyde from Sutter gets honked at for literally crawling around the corner—coz, as it turns out, she’s driving with one hand while she’s got her effing cell phone in her other hand. On Hyde, she proceeds to crawl down the street, not quite in her lane (we’ll assume left lane, since that’s where most of her car was).
Icing on the cake: she has a “Say No to Legalizing Pot!” bumper sticker (for those unaware, California will vote on taxing and regulating marijuana in November—-like alcohol and nicotine. But here’s my point/problem: This woman doesn’t want to legalize/tax and regulate an herb that is less dangerous than nicotine (legal), an herb that is less dangerous than alcohol (legal), an herb that is much less dangerous than, say, driving while talking on a cell phone (google the studies if you don’t believe me).
And yet this woman, with the political awareness to bleat about this on her bumper, certainly HAS to know that driving while talking on your cell is illegal in California. Yet, she probably has no whatever whatsoever about wanting to see someone put in jail for smoking weed—a victimless crime. Ask her, tho, if she thinks SHE should be put in jail for talking on her cell while recklessly driving and she would look down her nose at you like nobody’s business. I just HATE that kind of shit; that Puritanism mixed with hypocrisy! Disgusting!
I mean, seriously, if you want to put people in jail for smoking dope, then effing put them in jail for talking on a cell phone while driving—didn’t some trucker just kill a bunch of Mennonites last week while doing this? When’s the last time you heard of a stoner coming unhinged and murdering a bunch of people? Oh yeah, never!
I know I’m going to be THE crotchiest old man around in 20 years and will probably die of a rage-induced stroke; oh wait, the Mayan Calendar will save me from that! Go 12/20/12 or 12/22/12 or whenever it is! Yay!
BTW, did you hear the excuse for the historic one-day intra-trading stock market plunge? “The machines took over.” Seriously! That’s the explanation! Apparently, the machines weren’t too happy with those unappreciative Greeks who protested against their government’s answer to the fiscal crisis they themselves created.
Those crafty machines! But wait, are they absolutely sure it just wasn’t a glitch in the Matrix?
BTW, here’s an example of how a relatively innocent train of thought leaving the station can quickly derail:
Relatively innocent train of thought: “Hmmm, I have all this vodka in the house, I haven’t had a drink in forever, and I also have this semi-weird orange-pineapple-apple juice that would probably taste better cut with, say, peach or vanilla vodka.”
Still relatively innocent train of thought leaving the station: “Yes, I think I’ll make myself a drink and watch a movie; I think I have some Blockbuster movies I need to watch and return.”
Where said train of thought quickly derails into tragedy: “Well, I might as well watch ‘Precious’ so I can exchange it.”
There’s a reason I’ve had “Precious” sitting on my coffee table for some months: I was scared of it. It’s the same reason that made me pass over it the previous six times I went to Blockbuster and thought about getting it before I actually did. I mean, I know it’s very good – very “powerful” – but, why on earth would I watch something about a horribly abused teen when I adopted one of my own some years ago?
It reminds me of when I put “A Clockwork Orange” in my queue a few years ago coz I hadn’t seen it in forever, and though I did recall it was incredibly violent, I also recall it was very “powerful.” Well, that thing sat on my coffee table for AGES! Netflix LOVED me those days coz even though I was paying to have 3 movies out at a time, I was really only cycling through 2 each month coz every time I thought about watching “Clockwork,” I’d shudder and think, “Are you crazy?”
Eventually, of course, I was crazy enough to watch it again. Yes, it was very powerful—and in fact, in some ways, more unsettling because it hadn’t really seemed to “age” that much. But of course it was also still incredibly violent and, in fact, I barely remember even watching it again coz I’ve probably tried to block it out.
So I’m curious if anyone else does this: rents movies you know you’ll probably appreciate on one level but are also so terrified of watching it, that it just sits on your coffee table or wherever for X weeks, months, years, etc. after you bring it home? Or am I just a freak?
BTW (again), the only person who commented on my recent blog post re: anality in parking was my friend David in El Lay. He corrected my false assumption that the guy with the minivan should NOT have backed up closer to the guy behind him who was on a corner and could not get blocked in, because if that guy stayed, and then someone in front of the minivan parked really closely, he would then be blocked in.
But that presumes that the person in front is also a clueless idiot who doesn’t bother to see if they’re blocking anyone. An entirely valid assumption, I’m afraid.
On the plus side, this weekend, a guy in a VW Rabbit spent a TREMENDOUS amount of time ensuring he was DEAD CENTER in the space which was, in fact, perfect for his Rabbit with still a good foot in front and behind him.
I swear to god, the guy got out to check how centered he was and noticed that if he got back in, re-started the car—a STANDARD—and backed up a mere six inches, he would be centered perfectly. And I’ll be damned if he didn’t do just that! I almost yelled out at him to compliment him on the fabulous job he’d done, and the consideration he’d shown, but that would have entailed interacting with another human being and we can’t have THAT, can we? :)
Icing on the cake: she has a “Say No to Legalizing Pot!” bumper sticker (for those unaware, California will vote on taxing and regulating marijuana in November—-like alcohol and nicotine. But here’s my point/problem: This woman doesn’t want to legalize/tax and regulate an herb that is less dangerous than nicotine (legal), an herb that is less dangerous than alcohol (legal), an herb that is much less dangerous than, say, driving while talking on a cell phone (google the studies if you don’t believe me).
And yet this woman, with the political awareness to bleat about this on her bumper, certainly HAS to know that driving while talking on your cell is illegal in California. Yet, she probably has no whatever whatsoever about wanting to see someone put in jail for smoking weed—a victimless crime. Ask her, tho, if she thinks SHE should be put in jail for talking on her cell while recklessly driving and she would look down her nose at you like nobody’s business. I just HATE that kind of shit; that Puritanism mixed with hypocrisy! Disgusting!
I mean, seriously, if you want to put people in jail for smoking dope, then effing put them in jail for talking on a cell phone while driving—didn’t some trucker just kill a bunch of Mennonites last week while doing this? When’s the last time you heard of a stoner coming unhinged and murdering a bunch of people? Oh yeah, never!
I know I’m going to be THE crotchiest old man around in 20 years and will probably die of a rage-induced stroke; oh wait, the Mayan Calendar will save me from that! Go 12/20/12 or 12/22/12 or whenever it is! Yay!
BTW, did you hear the excuse for the historic one-day intra-trading stock market plunge? “The machines took over.” Seriously! That’s the explanation! Apparently, the machines weren’t too happy with those unappreciative Greeks who protested against their government’s answer to the fiscal crisis they themselves created.
Those crafty machines! But wait, are they absolutely sure it just wasn’t a glitch in the Matrix?
BTW, here’s an example of how a relatively innocent train of thought leaving the station can quickly derail:
Relatively innocent train of thought: “Hmmm, I have all this vodka in the house, I haven’t had a drink in forever, and I also have this semi-weird orange-pineapple-apple juice that would probably taste better cut with, say, peach or vanilla vodka.”
Still relatively innocent train of thought leaving the station: “Yes, I think I’ll make myself a drink and watch a movie; I think I have some Blockbuster movies I need to watch and return.”
Where said train of thought quickly derails into tragedy: “Well, I might as well watch ‘Precious’ so I can exchange it.”
There’s a reason I’ve had “Precious” sitting on my coffee table for some months: I was scared of it. It’s the same reason that made me pass over it the previous six times I went to Blockbuster and thought about getting it before I actually did. I mean, I know it’s very good – very “powerful” – but, why on earth would I watch something about a horribly abused teen when I adopted one of my own some years ago?
It reminds me of when I put “A Clockwork Orange” in my queue a few years ago coz I hadn’t seen it in forever, and though I did recall it was incredibly violent, I also recall it was very “powerful.” Well, that thing sat on my coffee table for AGES! Netflix LOVED me those days coz even though I was paying to have 3 movies out at a time, I was really only cycling through 2 each month coz every time I thought about watching “Clockwork,” I’d shudder and think, “Are you crazy?”
Eventually, of course, I was crazy enough to watch it again. Yes, it was very powerful—and in fact, in some ways, more unsettling because it hadn’t really seemed to “age” that much. But of course it was also still incredibly violent and, in fact, I barely remember even watching it again coz I’ve probably tried to block it out.
So I’m curious if anyone else does this: rents movies you know you’ll probably appreciate on one level but are also so terrified of watching it, that it just sits on your coffee table or wherever for X weeks, months, years, etc. after you bring it home? Or am I just a freak?
BTW (again), the only person who commented on my recent blog post re: anality in parking was my friend David in El Lay. He corrected my false assumption that the guy with the minivan should NOT have backed up closer to the guy behind him who was on a corner and could not get blocked in, because if that guy stayed, and then someone in front of the minivan parked really closely, he would then be blocked in.
But that presumes that the person in front is also a clueless idiot who doesn’t bother to see if they’re blocking anyone. An entirely valid assumption, I’m afraid.
On the plus side, this weekend, a guy in a VW Rabbit spent a TREMENDOUS amount of time ensuring he was DEAD CENTER in the space which was, in fact, perfect for his Rabbit with still a good foot in front and behind him.
I swear to god, the guy got out to check how centered he was and noticed that if he got back in, re-started the car—a STANDARD—and backed up a mere six inches, he would be centered perfectly. And I’ll be damned if he didn’t do just that! I almost yelled out at him to compliment him on the fabulous job he’d done, and the consideration he’d shown, but that would have entailed interacting with another human being and we can’t have THAT, can we? :)
5/10/10
Out of Africa - the Richest Poor Country in the World!
For something a little different, check out this timeline of key dates in the history of the Congo in Africa. Fun parlor game: count the number of resources the country has been raped for by Westerners! (Helpfully, I've bolded them all!)
Thanks to an article in Mother Jones for the below:
1482 Portuguese explorers arrive at mouth of Congo River, find well-developed African kingdom of Kongo.
1520s Sugarcane plantations in Brazil ignite vast demand for African slaves. Over next 350 years more than 12 million people will be taken from African coast near the mouth of the Congo River.
1526 In letter to Portuguese King João III, Kongo King Afonso I writes, "Our country is being completely depopulated" by slave trade.
Mid-1800s Reports from David Livingstone and other explorers whet European appetite for ivory.
1885 Belgian King Leopold II wins recognition of Congo as his personal colony.
1887 Scottish veterinarian John Dunlop creates inflatable tire, launching worldwide rubber boom.
1893-1913 Peak of Congo rubber trade. Leopold's private army occupies villages, holds women hostage to force men into the rain forest to gather wild rubber. Famine, disease, displacement ensue; uprisings bloodily suppressed. Congo's population drops from 20 million to 10 million in 40 years.
1895 First reported find of Congo gold, in Ituri.
1907 Diamonds discovered in Kasai province. Today Congo produces 17 percent of world's uncut diamonds.
1911 British soap tycoon William Lever visits to inspect his new holdings of palm groves.
1931 Railway completed from Katanga through Angola to Atlantic, parallel to old slave-trade route, for faster export of Congo copper. Profits mainly go to Belgium.
1945 Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs built with Congolese uranium.
1960 After months of violent protests, Belgium grants Congo independence. Patrice Lumumba becomes prime minister, advocates African ownership of African resources.
1961 Lumumba killed, with Belgian help, after CIA assassination attempt fails.
1965 Joseph Mobutu, a 35-year-old army officer, seizes power in CIA-approved coup, ruthlessly crushes all opposition.
1966 Mobutu nationalizes mining, goes on to embezzle billions from trade in copper, cobalt, diamond, and coffee industries.
1971 Mobutu changes nation's name to Zaire and his own to Mobutu Sese Seko Nkuku Ngbendu wa Za Banga—"The all-powerful warrior who, because of his endurance and inflexible will to win, goes from conquest to conquest, leaving fire in his wake."
1974 Muhammad Ali regains heavyweight crown by defeating George Foreman in "Rumble in the Jungle" in Kinshasa.
1977 Commodore begins selling personal computers; demand accelerates for minerals used in electronics, including gold, coltan (colombite-tantalite), and cassiterite (tin ore), all of which Congo produces in abundance.
1997 Mobutu overthrown, dies in exile following year. Country renamed Democratic Republic of Congo.
1998 Rwanda and Uganda invade, try to overthrow Mobutu successor Laurent Kabila. Zimbabwe, Namibia, Angola, Chad, Sudan also get involved, supporting Kabila and seizing mining concessions. Armed rebel groups proliferate, also capture mine sites.
1999 About 100 Congolese miners die when gold mine run by Ugandan military caves in.
1999 Six countries involved in war sign peace accord in Zambia; UN peacekeepers deployed. Fighting for control of mining sites continues. Hundreds of thousands of civilians forced to flee.
2000 Coltan, in demand for cell phone manufacturing, sells at $380 a pound. Demand for tungsten, used to make phones vibrate (and lightbulbs glow), also surges.
2000 Kabila grants timber rights on 15 percent of Congo's land area to joint venture that includes high Zimbabwean officials and army officers.
2001 Kabila assassinated, succeeded by his son Joseph.
2002 Second peace accord signed in South African luxury resort Sun City. Rebel warlords continue to fight.
2002 UN panel of experts estimates Rwanda has removed $320 million worth of minerals from eastern Congo during war.
2003 Amnesty International also targets Rwanda, saying that plunder of Congo's coltan and other minerals was a "carefully managed military operation."
2006 UN helps arrange first free elections since 1960. Joseph Kabila wins presidency, incorporates former rebel warlords into army and administration as price of shaky peace.
2007 Congo hit with Ebola outbreak.
2007 China signs long-term deal investing $9 billion in Congo in exchange for minerals worth some $50 billion, mainly copper and cobalt.
And people wonder why "those Africans just can't seem to get it together!"
This is an amazing and fascinating article, BTW - I've only included the timeline above. To read the entire article, go HERE
Thanks to an article in Mother Jones for the below:
1482 Portuguese explorers arrive at mouth of Congo River, find well-developed African kingdom of Kongo.
1520s Sugarcane plantations in Brazil ignite vast demand for African slaves. Over next 350 years more than 12 million people will be taken from African coast near the mouth of the Congo River.
1526 In letter to Portuguese King João III, Kongo King Afonso I writes, "Our country is being completely depopulated" by slave trade.
Mid-1800s Reports from David Livingstone and other explorers whet European appetite for ivory.
1885 Belgian King Leopold II wins recognition of Congo as his personal colony.
1887 Scottish veterinarian John Dunlop creates inflatable tire, launching worldwide rubber boom.
1893-1913 Peak of Congo rubber trade. Leopold's private army occupies villages, holds women hostage to force men into the rain forest to gather wild rubber. Famine, disease, displacement ensue; uprisings bloodily suppressed. Congo's population drops from 20 million to 10 million in 40 years.
1895 First reported find of Congo gold, in Ituri.
1907 Diamonds discovered in Kasai province. Today Congo produces 17 percent of world's uncut diamonds.
1911 British soap tycoon William Lever visits to inspect his new holdings of palm groves.
1931 Railway completed from Katanga through Angola to Atlantic, parallel to old slave-trade route, for faster export of Congo copper. Profits mainly go to Belgium.
1945 Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs built with Congolese uranium.
1960 After months of violent protests, Belgium grants Congo independence. Patrice Lumumba becomes prime minister, advocates African ownership of African resources.
1961 Lumumba killed, with Belgian help, after CIA assassination attempt fails.
1965 Joseph Mobutu, a 35-year-old army officer, seizes power in CIA-approved coup, ruthlessly crushes all opposition.
1966 Mobutu nationalizes mining, goes on to embezzle billions from trade in copper, cobalt, diamond, and coffee industries.
1971 Mobutu changes nation's name to Zaire and his own to Mobutu Sese Seko Nkuku Ngbendu wa Za Banga—"The all-powerful warrior who, because of his endurance and inflexible will to win, goes from conquest to conquest, leaving fire in his wake."
1974 Muhammad Ali regains heavyweight crown by defeating George Foreman in "Rumble in the Jungle" in Kinshasa.
1977 Commodore begins selling personal computers; demand accelerates for minerals used in electronics, including gold, coltan (colombite-tantalite), and cassiterite (tin ore), all of which Congo produces in abundance.
1997 Mobutu overthrown, dies in exile following year. Country renamed Democratic Republic of Congo.
1998 Rwanda and Uganda invade, try to overthrow Mobutu successor Laurent Kabila. Zimbabwe, Namibia, Angola, Chad, Sudan also get involved, supporting Kabila and seizing mining concessions. Armed rebel groups proliferate, also capture mine sites.
1999 About 100 Congolese miners die when gold mine run by Ugandan military caves in.
1999 Six countries involved in war sign peace accord in Zambia; UN peacekeepers deployed. Fighting for control of mining sites continues. Hundreds of thousands of civilians forced to flee.
2000 Coltan, in demand for cell phone manufacturing, sells at $380 a pound. Demand for tungsten, used to make phones vibrate (and lightbulbs glow), also surges.
2000 Kabila grants timber rights on 15 percent of Congo's land area to joint venture that includes high Zimbabwean officials and army officers.
2001 Kabila assassinated, succeeded by his son Joseph.
2002 Second peace accord signed in South African luxury resort Sun City. Rebel warlords continue to fight.
2002 UN panel of experts estimates Rwanda has removed $320 million worth of minerals from eastern Congo during war.
2003 Amnesty International also targets Rwanda, saying that plunder of Congo's coltan and other minerals was a "carefully managed military operation."
2006 UN helps arrange first free elections since 1960. Joseph Kabila wins presidency, incorporates former rebel warlords into army and administration as price of shaky peace.
2007 Congo hit with Ebola outbreak.
2007 China signs long-term deal investing $9 billion in Congo in exchange for minerals worth some $50 billion, mainly copper and cobalt.
And people wonder why "those Africans just can't seem to get it together!"
This is an amazing and fascinating article, BTW - I've only included the timeline above. To read the entire article, go HERE
5/5/10
Deep thoughts, cheap shots, and bon mots the seventh...
A recent poll found that while “only” 59% of Americans support allowing homosexuals to serve in the military, fully 70% support allowing gay men and lesbians to serve.
Seriously. I’m not making this up. I wonder what the percentage would be for “faggots” or “queers.” I’d also be curious to see what percent would support allowing "heterosexuals" to serve. I seriously bet it would be under 80%.
I can just hear the slack-jawed old Deliverance-esque coot now: “I just don’t think ANY of them damn there sexuals needs-ta-be in the military anyhow!”
Another survey found that 23% of Republicans want their state to secede. My movement is gaining steam! Honestly folks, help me out here—I seriously think this is a “saleable” issue that would benefit both sides enormously (at least from a psychological standpoint).
Allow the country to peacefully and “planfully” (a word one of Kyle’s social workers used with me once and I was like, “Oh, ewwww, seriously? “) decide/vote on separating into “autonomous regions” or flat out separate countries, or a mish-mash even.
So the South can rise again—and of course immediately devolve into a third world country receiving tremendous amounts of “foreign” aid from the Countries of Texas (and perhaps Florida), the Pacific States, and New England. I mean, the folks in the South are already used to voting against their own best interests, anyway.
As for the rust belt, the great lakes region, the mountains, and the plains, they can do whatever; no one will really notice or care—well, except maybe to see where Colorado ends up (ooooh, it’s like NFL draft day: “We’ll take California!” “We’ll take Florida!” while North Dakota scuffs its shoe/big toe and says, “Aw, I’m gonna get picked last again!”).
In a perfect world, actually, there would be a Northern California and Southern California split and we could live off the water royalties from L.A. alone! See, EVERYBODY wins!
Talk it up people!
And while I’m making changes, can we get a law that won’t allow people to operate a moving vehicle larger than a motorcycle in San Francisco if they haven’t passed an “intensive” parallel parking course? And by “intensive” I mean “adequate.”
Excalibur’s Parking Space moved across the street tonight when a family (okay, I’ll say it, they were Asian) in a minivan hit gold with a space that was huge. HUGE. Even though there was a car in front and behind, the space was a good 8-10 feet longer than the minivan.
But, still, “mom” has to get out and help direct. Then, for some reason, even with all the space they had, the guy still backed up and backed up and backed up until he hit the effing car behind him! He wasn’t even trying to maneuver or turn the wheels; he just kept slowly backing up.
I couldn’t see the wife, of course, coz she was blocked by the minivan, but all I can imagine is her on the other side, looking behind the minivan, nodding, waving her hand, nodding, waving her hand, nodding, waving her hand, and then holding up her hand to “stop” after he’d rammed the car behind him.
So then (of course), he overcompensates and almost rams the car in front of him!
In the end, he parks with about 3-4 feet in front of him and about 4-5 feet behind; enough room, combined, for one of those scary “Smart” Cars. But do you think he even considered that? I’m guessing not. Or even the idea that, since the car behind him was at the corner and didn’t need to worry about getting blocked in, he should park as closely to them as possible to leave space in front? Space that, even if it wasn’t big enough then, might later allow for two spaces when one car leaves.
I bet not. I mean, am I the only one who thinks it that far through?
And BTW, can I please get off the effing subway car before you try to rush in to get a seat, you rude and selfish “human” being? I know you want to rush home to plop down in front of “American Idol” with your bag of Cheetos while texting/omging friends to mock the contestants, but isn’t that what your Tivo is for? Sheesh.
Oh, that reminds me, and I’d love to hear people’s response/votes on this. I was at my very favorite fast food “gourmet” Chinese take-out, Panda Express, last week (go ahead and comment, Sheri!). As is usual on a weekday during lunchtime, there was a line out the door (which isn’t as dramatic as it sounds considering three people in line are already holding the door open).
Anyway, picture it: double doors; one is propped open because it’s a nice day and to make it easier for the folks standing in line/waiting to get in & order. The closed door next to the open door is not locked and there’s no signage or anything to make people think they couldn’t use that door.
But I’ll give you 3 guesses which door people exiting the restaurant had to use: the one blocked by people standing in line to order, and hard to get through w/o squeezing? Or the other door that opens quite easily and provides a “wide berth” exit?
You guessed it. No matter how big the person, they felt the need to squeeze through the open door, jamming their grotesque, polyester-clad, hides against my own (encased, of course, in organic cotton and recycled plastic bottles) while I huffed in indignant outrage that they were either: a) too bovine to realize that a closed door can still be opened, or b) too lazy to be bothered with it even tho they know about it. And seriously, people, it takes more effort to grunt and squeeze past people through a doorway than it does to lean against a bar and have a whole other doorway to go through on your own!
Hmmm, maybe if they put the word “free” on the other door and scented it with grease and salt….
Now, granted, there was the occasional “brainiac” who did, indeed, simply glide on out through the other door, but that was, on average, about 1 out of 7-8 people.
So my question is, seriously, what do you think is going on here, people? I really wanna know!
Seriously. I’m not making this up. I wonder what the percentage would be for “faggots” or “queers.” I’d also be curious to see what percent would support allowing "heterosexuals" to serve. I seriously bet it would be under 80%.
I can just hear the slack-jawed old Deliverance-esque coot now: “I just don’t think ANY of them damn there sexuals needs-ta-be in the military anyhow!”
Another survey found that 23% of Republicans want their state to secede. My movement is gaining steam! Honestly folks, help me out here—I seriously think this is a “saleable” issue that would benefit both sides enormously (at least from a psychological standpoint).
Allow the country to peacefully and “planfully” (a word one of Kyle’s social workers used with me once and I was like, “Oh, ewwww, seriously? “) decide/vote on separating into “autonomous regions” or flat out separate countries, or a mish-mash even.
So the South can rise again—and of course immediately devolve into a third world country receiving tremendous amounts of “foreign” aid from the Countries of Texas (and perhaps Florida), the Pacific States, and New England. I mean, the folks in the South are already used to voting against their own best interests, anyway.
As for the rust belt, the great lakes region, the mountains, and the plains, they can do whatever; no one will really notice or care—well, except maybe to see where Colorado ends up (ooooh, it’s like NFL draft day: “We’ll take California!” “We’ll take Florida!” while North Dakota scuffs its shoe/big toe and says, “Aw, I’m gonna get picked last again!”).
In a perfect world, actually, there would be a Northern California and Southern California split and we could live off the water royalties from L.A. alone! See, EVERYBODY wins!
Talk it up people!
And while I’m making changes, can we get a law that won’t allow people to operate a moving vehicle larger than a motorcycle in San Francisco if they haven’t passed an “intensive” parallel parking course? And by “intensive” I mean “adequate.”
Excalibur’s Parking Space moved across the street tonight when a family (okay, I’ll say it, they were Asian) in a minivan hit gold with a space that was huge. HUGE. Even though there was a car in front and behind, the space was a good 8-10 feet longer than the minivan.
But, still, “mom” has to get out and help direct. Then, for some reason, even with all the space they had, the guy still backed up and backed up and backed up until he hit the effing car behind him! He wasn’t even trying to maneuver or turn the wheels; he just kept slowly backing up.
I couldn’t see the wife, of course, coz she was blocked by the minivan, but all I can imagine is her on the other side, looking behind the minivan, nodding, waving her hand, nodding, waving her hand, nodding, waving her hand, and then holding up her hand to “stop” after he’d rammed the car behind him.
So then (of course), he overcompensates and almost rams the car in front of him!
In the end, he parks with about 3-4 feet in front of him and about 4-5 feet behind; enough room, combined, for one of those scary “Smart” Cars. But do you think he even considered that? I’m guessing not. Or even the idea that, since the car behind him was at the corner and didn’t need to worry about getting blocked in, he should park as closely to them as possible to leave space in front? Space that, even if it wasn’t big enough then, might later allow for two spaces when one car leaves.
I bet not. I mean, am I the only one who thinks it that far through?
And BTW, can I please get off the effing subway car before you try to rush in to get a seat, you rude and selfish “human” being? I know you want to rush home to plop down in front of “American Idol” with your bag of Cheetos while texting/omging friends to mock the contestants, but isn’t that what your Tivo is for? Sheesh.
Oh, that reminds me, and I’d love to hear people’s response/votes on this. I was at my very favorite fast food “gourmet” Chinese take-out, Panda Express, last week (go ahead and comment, Sheri!). As is usual on a weekday during lunchtime, there was a line out the door (which isn’t as dramatic as it sounds considering three people in line are already holding the door open).
Anyway, picture it: double doors; one is propped open because it’s a nice day and to make it easier for the folks standing in line/waiting to get in & order. The closed door next to the open door is not locked and there’s no signage or anything to make people think they couldn’t use that door.
But I’ll give you 3 guesses which door people exiting the restaurant had to use: the one blocked by people standing in line to order, and hard to get through w/o squeezing? Or the other door that opens quite easily and provides a “wide berth” exit?
You guessed it. No matter how big the person, they felt the need to squeeze through the open door, jamming their grotesque, polyester-clad, hides against my own (encased, of course, in organic cotton and recycled plastic bottles) while I huffed in indignant outrage that they were either: a) too bovine to realize that a closed door can still be opened, or b) too lazy to be bothered with it even tho they know about it. And seriously, people, it takes more effort to grunt and squeeze past people through a doorway than it does to lean against a bar and have a whole other doorway to go through on your own!
Hmmm, maybe if they put the word “free” on the other door and scented it with grease and salt….
Now, granted, there was the occasional “brainiac” who did, indeed, simply glide on out through the other door, but that was, on average, about 1 out of 7-8 people.
So my question is, seriously, what do you think is going on here, people? I really wanna know!
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