Why I vote the way I do

My earliest memory is from June 1968 - I was almost five years old and was living with my birth parents in the projects in Sacramento, CA  (actually, my birth dad may have been in jail at this time).  My birth mom was excited about having just voted in her first presidential primary--for Bobby Kennedy.  I remember her telling me how his brother had been killed when I was just a baby and everyone was so sad, but that Bobby was going to be even better, you could tell he really cared about people, he would get us out of Vietnam, etc.

And then, of course,he was killed just a few hours later.  My mom cried and cried that night, and I cried, too, just because she was crying.  I remember her telling our neighbor later that she wouldn't even bother voting in November since they just seemed to kill all the "good ones."

Because of this experience, I always felt an affinity for Bobby, and learned as much as I could about him.  My early life in Sacramento was also very impactful for me in terms of race.  Although my birth parents had black friends, many of our neighbors were black, etc., my birth dad would still say ridiculously racist things, and I remember driving around with him and my brothers and my dad pointing out blacks on the street and saying to my youngest brother, "Look, Danny!  See the nigger? Har har har!" As young as I was, I remember being shocked/disgusted.

Our neighbor Mary, a black single mother, was my birth mom's best friend; we played with her kids all the time.  My first "let's play doctor" moment was with her daughter Pam when I was barely 8 years old. Later, when we moved to Oklahoma, I also got to experience busing and saw the protests from white parents at our school.  My classmates all eagerly huddled at the windows anxiously waiting to see what the brouhaha was all about, what kind of monsters would emerge from the buses. When it was simply a bunch of black kids, we were all disappointed.  The world didn't end.  The protests stopped.  Life went on.

Another major early influence on me was my grandmother.  While I joke about her being a saint, and accept that she MAY, in fact, have had some flaws, my strongest memory is of her empathy.  She was a good, loving woman, who actually walked her talk as a Christian and I have many, many memories of her admonishing folks when they judged others, of telling people they needed to put themselves in someone else's shoes and try to see where they're coming from; that you had to give people the benefit of the doubt when they did or said something "bad" because you couldn't know what life experiences they'd had to make them think or act that way, etc.

These early experiences have helped make me who I am today and also still impact my political views, beliefs, and rationale for when I vote.  I still have a lot of Bobby's idealism (tho it's tempered by cynicism because of what happened to him), I recognize the messed up racial issues we have in this country to this day, and I try really hard - no, really, I do! - to see where people are coming from when they say things I don't agree with.

It's this "empathy thing" that now has me so distraught about "political discourse" in this country.  Like many of my "progressive" friends, I've heaped scorn on those rabid right wingers who spew such ridiculous hate and who so clearly, ignorantly, vote against their own interests.  I agree with the memes and posts from like-minded folks who scorn and sneer at these "backwoods, slack-jawed, inbred, racist yokels," - not even bothering to try and understand them because they are SO clearly unreachable, etc.

But then, I experienced some of that sneering, patronizing dismissal myself and it opened my eyes a little. I am a member of a "Progressive" Facebook group started by a friend.  Like others, we've had some quite, er, vigorous debates during this election season - esp. between Sanders and Clinton supporters.  But these debates seemed to devolve the longer they went on, and once it became clear that Sanders would not prevail, and as many of his frustrated supporters turned to third party options, the debate intensified.  And as the recent violent, racial incidents spiked (or at least coverage and/or awareness of them did), THOSE discussions became more heated.

And it seemed like we'd become the folks we sneered at - or at least started adopting their tactics: shouting down dissent, snide name-calling and smug dismissal of those who don't "get it."  It was amazing and appalling to behold.   As I knew I'd engaged in my own share of disdainful dismissal of the "other side," I tried to dial it back.  I tried to get folks to see that the dialogue was not helping "educate" or "turn" people - but only hardening their stance.

I watched as people maliciously attacked that older Sanders supporter "ranting" at the convention as being "crazy" and "off her meds," rather than trying to empathize that she could feel such pain and rage over what is happening in our country.  I watched SOME rabid Sanders supporters claim Hillary is no better than Trump, and then watched SOME rabid Clinton supporters assert you were "stupid" or "privileged" if you voted third party.  A friend who made a good point that simply sharing memes and "sympathetic" stories was intellectually lazy - and then the very next day he shared a piece slamming Susan Sarandon for her comments against Hillary.  His friends immediately piled on and just SAVAGED Sarandon, calling her a bitch, a c*nt, "officially" an asshole, a "stupid box of hair," unhinged, and asserting "I never liked her or her saggy tits."  These are the Clinton supporters who "can't understand" the Hillary "hate" - who cry "misogyny!" when anyone says anything negative about her, who say we need to save the country from Drumpf.  Fair enough, but we're saving it for YOU people?  Um....

THEN, Clinton supporters tried to dismiss or explain away the caught red-handed corruption of the DNC that favored her during the primaries.  Some suggested that the DNC didn't even need to be neutral, others claimed it was okay for big donors to get perks/access.  Things they would have slammed the GOP for doing/allowing.  And, STILL they could not understand the rage and frustration over our crony capitalism.  STILL, they sneered at folks voting Green - falsely claiming they're all privileged white folks, - or spreading false propaganda that they are "anti-Science" and don't make any effort at the local level (untrue).  I'm not saying Jill stein is a perfect candidate by ANY stretch of the imagination, but it's astonishing to me to see Hillary supporters savage her so - and in ways they decry the folks who savage Hillary!

Yes, folks are engaging in hyperbole when they say Clinton is no better than Trump, but they also have very valid concerns about her policies and her history.  Yes, people are right to point out that while the system we have may be messed up you still should do what you can to avoid a "Trumpocalypse." But haranguing, dismissing, hectoring, name-calling, judgement, etc. is NOT the way to "change hearts and minds."

I'm still cynical enough to think we can't live up to Rodney King's "Can't we all just get along" plea, but I like to think I still have enough of my grandma in me to say, "Can't we at least try to understand where someone is coming from, feel their pain, and more thoughtfully respond to them in a way that doesn't use name-calling, smug dismissal, and the like?"  Pretty please??  :)

One of the most amazing sights I've ever beheld!

A few weeks ago I talked about the "real" Africa.  Although I've really only spent a little time in many of the countries I've been to so far here on the continent, here's my two cents on each and how "real Africa" they are:

Egypt: I think Egypt is one of those countries that "transcends" place - obviously partly due to their long history, uniqueness throughout much of it, amazing culture, etc. If Africa is the birthplace of humanity, Egypt is definitely the fulcrum.  

Mauritius: I think islands, too, should get a pass in terms of "continent affiliation."  :)  And while it definitely had some bits of "African feel," it also seems much more Indian on the whole and has other common "islandy" characteristics.  

Lesotho: Lesotho definitely has the crazy drivers, colonial past, Africa time, etc., but it is also unique in being "the roof of Africa" and has a climate like no other country on the continent in regards to having a "real" winter throughout most of the country with really cold temps, significant snow throughout two-thirds of the country, etc.  

South Africa: On the one hand, I want to say RSA probably personifies the "real" Africa today as Africa SHOULD be viewed: incredibly diverse, surprising, has the Big Five, horrible drivers, colonial history with appalling oppression, etc., but many folks still don't consider it "real" Africa because in so many ways it is very modern and Cape Town alone just screams "not Africa."  :)

Namibia: Namibia was interesting to me because it was a German colony.  It has weird demographics in terms of size/population, a very strange geographical shape, a vast/fascinating desert, and an interesting history.  It's "real" Africa in the sense, like RSA, that you could see it totally being African but also being surprised.

Botswana: This one ranks up there to me for "real" Africa.  They've made a lot of progress since independence, they have the Big Five, and it still has the mix of seeming dangerous (because of animals AND people), but still safe/interesting enough to travel to for people leery of the continent.

Zimbabwe: I can see why this place gets so many mentions for "real" Africa.  They've got the big five, there's still visible leftover colonial stuff, they have some modernity and diversity, etc.  The people were friendly here for sure.

Zambia: To be fair, I was really only right on the border of Zimbabwe here so can't really say.

Ethiopia:  This is another interesting place to try and peg.  Again, alas, I didn't get to spend much time here before my medical emergency, but Addis Ababa is called "the capital of Africa," they do have that distinction of resisting colonial oppression, etc.

Since I've been on the continent, these have been the big "Africa moments"/memories that stand out for me:

• 129 trucks!  When I was visiting Vic Falls, and at the "four countries" border area (Zimbabwe, Zambia, Namibia, and Botswana), I transferred from my Zimbabwe side driver to the Botswana side driver.  After a fun/scary moment right after taking off when an elephant trumpeted at us, flared his ears, and charged the vehicle, I noticed we were driving past an inordinate number of semis/trucks parked along the road.  The driver explained that one of the ferries was down that crosses between Zimbabwe and Zambia and that many trucks would have to wait a long time  I asked why there wasn't a bridge and he said that they were only just now building one as it has taken them this long for the countries involved to get over their colonial pasts and rivalries to build one!  A lot of the semis were double-trailers, so just try to imagine how long 129 of them stretched (I went back and forth across/around this area multiple times in a few days so had ample time to count them!)
• I've had two moments in Africa where my jaw was literally hanging open I was so amazed at what I was seeing.  Once in the helicopter flying over Vic Falls in Zimbabwe/Zambia, and once when a hippo waddled across the road right in front of our open air jeep on safari in Botswana.  Both times I cursed myself for being so busy gawping I didn't get the good picture.  But then that's what a blog/journal is for - to help you remember moments like these!  :)
• While staying at my tent/safari camp in Botswana, I was 2+ full days with no internet/e-mail access.  Have had many times when I've gone a full day, but this had to be the first with just over 2 full days in a long, long time.  And guess what?  The world didn't end!  
• Don't know the exact number, but I've added at least a half dozen or so animals to my "animals I have eaten" list--plus worms! Off the top of my head, I can remember boar, antelope, zebra, water buffalo, and kudu--but none of them have made me go, "Oooh, yum!  I wish I could get this back in the states!"  :)
• Although it wasn't jaw-dropping, I had two other moments with hippos that were certainly memorable.  One was seeing the mating pair in Zambia and the other was the one that came roaring out of the water right by our boat in Zimbabwe - even the tour guide was a little thrown by the latter and reminded us that hippos are not  cute, docile creatures, but territorial killers that are responsible for more human fatalities than any other large animal (they kill nearly 3,000 people annually in Africa). Other fun facts about hippos: they can run over 20 mph - or faster than many humans - but they can't jump; they kill crocodiles; their closest living relative is the whale - and they eat like one, consuming over 100 lbs. of vegetation per day.
• My last, and most recent, most vivid, most unpleasant "Africa experience" is from my trip to Ethiopia.  In Addis Ababa, I was a semi-victim of a popular scam wherein someone will spit on you as you walk by "in accident."  They are immediately apologetic, quickly whip out convenient tissue and a water bottle to help clean you off, apologizing profusely ("Sorry, baba!  Sorry!") and then while you're distracted by the gross out, pick your pocket or purse.  I was roaming around when this happened to me - 4 dudes sitting in a car at the curb, and just as I was walking by, I saw the guy in front lean out and spew a mouthful of mushy meal or something ALL over me - all down my arm, all over my shirt, my shorts, etc.  I was SO grossed out I was in shock as he pawed at me with tissue, giving me the "Sorry, baba!  Sorry, baba!" routine, while his friend offered a bottle of water from the backseat. But I say "semi-victim" coz, as an experienced traveler, I know to not carry a wallet, not keep money in my back pocket, etc.  So I just got the gross out aspect.  And it was. Very, VERY gross.  I gotta say, though, I can see it being effective.  Sigh.

Before I leave the continent, I still plan/hope to see Madagascar, Tanzania (Kilimanjaro and Zanzibar!), and Senegal - plus hope to get down to Cape Town one more time before i leave!