Tried
to go to the Guangdong Museum today, but since I didn’t have my PASSPORT, I
could not get in. Seriously, could this
country be any more lame?
On
a more amusing note: In practicing for my End of Term Presentations (EOTP), one
of my classes was doing an exercise where they would bring their mommy or daddy
to the center of the classroom where a house grid was laid out with large flash
cards for different rooms. Mommy or
daddy would stand in a room, and I would ask the child, “Where is your
mommy?” “What is she doing?” (she would
pantomime an action) and “Is she happy?” (she would pantomime an emotion). When practicing, little Sherry went into the
Kitchen pretending to be little Jimmy’s mommy.
I asked, “Jimmy, where is your mommy?”
A smart, darling, shy little boy, Jimmy piped up, “My mommy is in the
kitchen!” I then prompted Sherry to do
an action, whereupon she started waving her fist around in front of her mouth,
swaying wildly. I knew she was trying to
pantomime “singing,” but it was quite amusing.
I asked Jimmy, “What is your mommy doing?” Jimmy cocked his head and said, “My mommy is
drunk!” Needless to say, I lost it – as
did my Learning Partner. Poor Jimmy
looked confused and shrunk his head down into his neck. But we assured him we were laughing WITH not
AT him and asked where he’d learned the word.
Remember, these kids are like 5 years old and barely know basic
vocab. We finally determined he was
trying to say drinking (but NOT alcohol), which was quite a feat in itself as
they haven’t learned that word yet.
Moments like that make my day! J
Later,
I was doing the EOTP for my Step Up (older) class and handing out certificates,
presents, etc. The first one went to
Anna, so I called her name, turned my back to get her certificate, and heard a
strange sound. I thought, “WTF? That
sounds like….” And I turned back around to see my student Charles clapping for
Anna! Now, I know most of you reading
this are like, “Um, so?” But notice: he
was the ONLY one clapping. They do know
about clapping here, and you will hear it…..um, very rarely. But Charles spent a few years in the states,
and clearly picked up this “Western barbarism.”
I immediately said, “Charles, that is very nice of you!” When the next name was called, Charles clapped
again – and yet, still, no one else did.
As the remaining names were called, poor Charles’ clapping got less and
less loud. And when he came up for his,
*I* had to clap for him, as still none of the other Chinese kids felt the
need. I might add that most of them are
very good kids – they just weren’t brought up (surprise surprise) to show
appreciation or joy for ANYONE outside of their immediate families. Sad.
I
also recently decided the reason the Chinese are always so tired is they’re
exhausted from being such assholes about getting around. The pushing and shoving and cutting in line
for the metro, for a cab, hell, for ANYTHING, the constant jostling to be “Number
One,” to get served immediately, to interrupt anyone and anything that stands
between them and being IMMEDIATELY helped, well, I can only imagine how
exhausting that is.
News
flash: I am officially old! I got a
Facebook friend request the other day from a “Victor” in Leninogorsk (now
Ridder) Kazakhstan. I thought, “Hmmm,
could that be one of my old students who was one of my faves?” But when I looked at the picture, I thought, “Nah,
that’s some guy who looks like he’s at least 30 years old.” DUH! My
PC students are now all in their thirties! Christ, I’m old! J But it was cool to hear from him as he went
on and on about how much he’d liked me, what an influence I was on him, etc.
etc. etc. He even has an 8-year-old
daughter now! Yes, I am old old old!
Can’t
recall if I’ve mentioned this before, but I have discovered that “foreign” milk
– and when I say foreign I mean as in New Zealand or France, and not China - is
WAY better than U.S. milk. Of course ANY
milk here is expensive, but luckily I don’t need/drink it a lot. But even with the semi-skimmed milk I’m
drinking, it almost tastes like I’m drinking cream compared to the crap that
passes for milk in America. An
interesting discovery needless to say.
Amazingly/appallingly,
I have yet to see “Frozen” - which is apparently on track to being Disney’s
most successful movie ever. Of course that doesn’t mean I haven’t been
able to enjoy the iconic song, “Let It Go” – Disney English made it their “song
of the month” for March, and even though it wasn’t part of our regular content
we were “encouraged” to play it before/after every class and get our students
to learn to sing it for their adoring parents.
Unfortunately, 4-5 year olds aren’t too well-equipped to spout lyrics
like “My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around,” and what not. Anyway, as it so happens, I do really like the
song and actually didn’t mind too much hearing it every day at least 2-3
times. Of course, if my Learning Partner
would have had her way, we would have been hearing it 10-20 times every
day. She fucking LOVES that song! While most of our kids did, too, and we’d get
the periodic “One more time!” from them like we often do when playing a song
they like, my LP Amy was the one most often screeching, “One more time! One more time!” At the end of the day, my Step Up kids DID choose
to sing it as part of their EOTP and I was very proud of how they acquitted themselves
– as were their parents (one of whom cried out in joy when we started playing
it, “Oooh, ‘Frozen!’”) J
As
the month drew to a close, coincidentally (and unfortunately for the patrons)
the Irish Bar downstairs from my apt. – McCawley’s – decided to play it while a
large Disney English crew was upstairs enjoying their “Taco Tuesday”
night. TT also includes discounted
margaritas, of which we had all had our fair share, so that when the song
started playing – even though many of us were well over hearing it by that
point – a general cheer went up and we proceeded to sing the song together –
much to the horror, no doubt, of the rest of the Pub. Ah, China….
Speaking
of McCawley’s – or anywhere we go, actually, and try to order something “unusual”
from the Chinese waitstaff, it’s always a nice hit or miss to see what we’ll
get versus what we’re TRYING to get.
While they do HAVE guacamole, for example, very few of their waitstaff
know the word. One night a DE teacher
patiently asked several waiters until one woman brightened, nodded her head,
and rushed off to fill the order. We
breathed a sigh of relief until the “guacamole” she came back with was a Bloody
Mary. Reading it now, it doesn’t sound
as similar as it did to us that night when we were willing to cut her some
slack – just for the amusement of it, if nothing else. My friend Bex and I had a similar experience
with me trying to get soy sauce in a Pizza Hut (which is a high end dining
establishment here – seriously!). The
fourth waitress we asked was VERY proud of herself for understanding, nodded
her head vigorously, and rushed off while I moaned to Bex about how it shouldn’t
be so hard to get such an obvious Chinese staple like soy sauce – when the
waitress returned and, beaming, triumphantly slammed a salt shaker down on the
table and skipped off.
A
final thought: one thing that’s subtly weird/annoying here is feeling a bit
like Gulliver among the Lilliputians.
The fact that I find myself hunched over my shopping cart, that I always
have to bend over more to use the sink or kitchen cabinets, etc. On the flip side, the other day I found
myself in the elevator with three Chinese guys who were all as tall/taller than
me! THAT felt even weirder! J
