4/10/14

Guangzhou Diary - Lucky 13

Tried to go to the Guangdong Museum today, but since I didn’t have my PASSPORT, I could not get in.  Seriously, could this country be any more lame?

On a more amusing note: In practicing for my End of Term Presentations (EOTP), one of my classes was doing an exercise where they would bring their mommy or daddy to the center of the classroom where a house grid was laid out with large flash cards for different rooms.  Mommy or daddy would stand in a room, and I would ask the child, “Where is your mommy?”  “What is she doing?” (she would pantomime an action) and “Is she happy?” (she would pantomime an emotion).  When practicing, little Sherry went into the Kitchen pretending to be little Jimmy’s mommy.  I asked, “Jimmy, where is your mommy?”  A smart, darling, shy little boy, Jimmy piped up, “My mommy is in the kitchen!”  I then prompted Sherry to do an action, whereupon she started waving her fist around in front of her mouth, swaying wildly.  I knew she was trying to pantomime “singing,” but it was quite amusing.  I asked Jimmy, “What is your mommy doing?”  Jimmy cocked his head and said, “My mommy is drunk!”  Needless to say, I lost it – as did my Learning Partner.  Poor Jimmy looked confused and shrunk his head down into his neck.  But we assured him we were laughing WITH not AT him and asked where he’d learned the word.  Remember, these kids are like 5 years old and barely know basic vocab.  We finally determined he was trying to say drinking (but NOT alcohol), which was quite a feat in itself as they haven’t learned that word yet.  Moments like that make my day!  J

Later, I was doing the EOTP for my Step Up (older) class and handing out certificates, presents, etc.  The first one went to Anna, so I called her name, turned my back to get her certificate, and heard a strange sound.  I thought, “WTF? That sounds like….” And I turned back around to see my student Charles clapping for Anna!  Now, I know most of you reading this are like, “Um, so?”  But notice: he was the ONLY one clapping.  They do know about clapping here, and you will hear it…..um, very rarely.  But Charles spent a few years in the states, and clearly picked up this “Western barbarism.”  I immediately said, “Charles, that is very nice of you!”  When the next name was called, Charles clapped again – and yet, still, no one else did.  As the remaining names were called, poor Charles’ clapping got less and less loud.  And when he came up for his, *I* had to clap for him, as still none of the other Chinese kids felt the need.  I might add that most of them are very good kids – they just weren’t brought up (surprise surprise) to show appreciation or joy for ANYONE outside of their immediate families.  Sad.

I also recently decided the reason the Chinese are always so tired is they’re exhausted from being such assholes about getting around.  The pushing and shoving and cutting in line for the metro, for a cab, hell, for ANYTHING, the constant jostling to be “Number One,” to get served immediately, to interrupt anyone and anything that stands between them and being IMMEDIATELY helped, well, I can only imagine how exhausting that is. 

News flash: I am officially old!  I got a Facebook friend request the other day from a “Victor” in Leninogorsk (now Ridder) Kazakhstan.  I thought, “Hmmm, could that be one of my old students who was one of my faves?”  But when I looked at the picture, I thought, “Nah, that’s some guy who looks like he’s at least 30 years old.”  DUH!  My PC students are now all in their thirties! Christ, I’m old!  J  But it was cool to hear from him as he went on and on about how much he’d liked me, what an influence I was on him, etc. etc. etc.  He even has an 8-year-old daughter now!  Yes, I am old old old!
Can’t recall if I’ve mentioned this before, but I have discovered that “foreign” milk – and when I say foreign I mean as in New Zealand or France, and not China - is WAY better than U.S. milk.  Of course ANY milk here is expensive, but luckily I don’t need/drink it a lot.  But even with the semi-skimmed milk I’m drinking, it almost tastes like I’m drinking cream compared to the crap that passes for milk in America.  An interesting discovery needless to say.

Amazingly/appallingly, I have yet to see “Frozen” - which is apparently on track to being Disney’s most successful movie ever.  Of course that doesn’t mean I haven’t been able to enjoy the iconic song, “Let It Go” – Disney English made it their “song of the month” for March, and even though it wasn’t part of our regular content we were “encouraged” to play it before/after every class and get our students to learn to sing it for their adoring parents.  Unfortunately, 4-5 year olds aren’t too well-equipped to spout lyrics like “My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around,” and what not.   Anyway, as it so happens, I do really like the song and actually didn’t mind too much hearing it every day at least 2-3 times.  Of course, if my Learning Partner would have had her way, we would have been hearing it 10-20 times every day.  She fucking LOVES that song!  While most of our kids did, too, and we’d get the periodic “One more time!” from them like we often do when playing a song they like, my LP Amy was the one most often screeching, “One more time!  One more time!”  At the end of the day, my Step Up kids DID choose to sing it as part of their EOTP and I was very proud of how they acquitted themselves – as were their parents (one of whom cried out in joy when we started playing it, “Oooh, ‘Frozen!’”)  J

As the month drew to a close, coincidentally (and unfortunately for the patrons) the Irish Bar downstairs from my apt. – McCawley’s – decided to play it while a large Disney English crew was upstairs enjoying their “Taco Tuesday” night.  TT also includes discounted margaritas, of which we had all had our fair share, so that when the song started playing – even though many of us were well over hearing it by that point – a general cheer went up and we proceeded to sing the song together – much to the horror, no doubt, of the rest of the Pub.  Ah, China….

Speaking of McCawley’s – or anywhere we go, actually, and try to order something “unusual” from the Chinese waitstaff, it’s always a nice hit or miss to see what we’ll get versus what we’re TRYING to get.  While they do HAVE guacamole, for example, very few of their waitstaff know the word.  One night a DE teacher patiently asked several waiters until one woman brightened, nodded her head, and rushed off to fill the order.  We breathed a sigh of relief until the “guacamole” she came back with was a Bloody Mary.  Reading it now, it doesn’t sound as similar as it did to us that night when we were willing to cut her some slack – just for the amusement of it, if nothing else.  My friend Bex and I had a similar experience with me trying to get soy sauce in a Pizza Hut (which is a high end dining establishment here – seriously!).  The fourth waitress we asked was VERY proud of herself for understanding, nodded her head vigorously, and rushed off while I moaned to Bex about how it shouldn’t be so hard to get such an obvious Chinese staple like soy sauce – when the waitress returned and, beaming, triumphantly slammed a salt shaker down on the table and skipped off.


A final thought: one thing that’s subtly weird/annoying here is feeling a bit like Gulliver among the Lilliputians.  The fact that I find myself hunched over my shopping cart, that I always have to bend over more to use the sink or kitchen cabinets, etc.  On the flip side, the other day I found myself in the elevator with three Chinese guys who were all as tall/taller than me!  THAT felt even weirder!  J

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