As I may have bleated in an earlier post (and if I haven't, shame on me for not doing so), Harper's Magazine is not only the best magazine in the world, but they have the best feature of any magazine in the world: Harper's Index (from which I am sure I've posted various, interesting tidbits). They have a relatively new, additional feature at the back of the mag, which is also hella cool, but more on that later.
Among the things I like about Harper's Index: The variety! The shock and amazement value! The juxtaposition of various stats that helps provide a searing commentary on humanity with no editorial comments necessary at all - just plain hard facts. A few examples from the most recent issue:
Average amount NATO spends each week enforcing the no-fly zone over Libya: $1,930,000
Estimated value of arms sent by NATO countries to Qadafi since 1969: $10,000,000,000
See? I don't even have to make a snarky comment about the hypocrisy of this - it's all laid out there in two simple facts!
Next:
Percentage of Republicans who said in March that they fear that ACORN will steal the 2012 election for Obama: 25
Date on which ACORN shut down: 11/2/10
This pair of stats is "great" because not only does it help illustrate the absurd ignorance of (at least) one-fourth of Republicans but it also shows a complete cluelessness about what ACORN was ever about and/or the "power" they supposedly wielded. To think, even if the fucking organization were still around, that so many people could honestly be so deranged as to think ACORN could--or even WOULD--"steal" an election! More appalling, those sad, clueless freaks wouldn't even DREAM of suggesting that the U.S. Supreme Court "stole" the election for Dubya.
Next:
Amount of federal money that went to NPR in 2010: $2,700,000
To Jerry Falwell's Liberty University: $446,000,000
Again, just the stark reality, outrageousness, and simple lunacy of those stats is enough to make any sane, fair-minded person want to throw up.
Finally, talk about something both surreal and just flat out wrong:
Chances that a convict will be granted parole if his case comes up right after a judge has had breakfast: 70%
Chance right before lunch: 25%
I didn't even get to the stats that showed India has gained half of the current U.S. population in just ten years, that extra-religious people are WAY more likely to be obese; or how domestic violence increases whenever a local NFL team loses.
I didn't get into those coz I want to share what, for me, is the most interesting stat I've come across in a long time! As mentioned, beyond the Index, Harper's also has a really cool feature at the back called "Findings," which shares a variety of interesting/bizarre research findings. While many of them are often things that make you think, "Why the hell would they be researching THAT?" (e.g., "Existential anxiety was found to make people dislike Richard Dawkins" Seriously? Someone studied that?), there is always something truly interesting - altho, still, not necessarily of much practical use.
My favorite example from the latest issue is this tidbit: "The number of phonemes in a given language is inversely proportional to its distance from Africa." If, like me, you can't remember enough Language Arts to know what a phoneme is, click HERE to find out.
I'm not sure why, but this little factoid just fascinates me no end! You'd think it has SOMETHING to do with the fact that humans originated in Africa, but how? HOW??
5/18/11
My Arbitrary Top 5 Rules for Living in San Francisco
1) Be ready to dodge the gaggle of giggling/shrieking/OMG-ing girls from Tokyo or Sonoma out shopping en masse, with their H&M bags, too-high heels & too-short skirts. In fact, be ready to dodge tourists, period. Obviously, this doesn't apply (or at least so much) to people tucked away in those suburban SF neighborhoods like Diamond Heights or (shudder) the Richmond. To me, once you've gone west of Twin Peaks/the Haight/Pacific Heights, and/or south of the Castro/Mission/Soma, you've basically left "the City" and are in the burbs.
But, again, for living IN the City, it's hard to have anything better than a love/hate relationship with the ENDLESS and MASSIVE numbers of tourists. And speaking of massive, they stand out even more than tourists usually do--well, the American tourists stand out even more, that is--because they're all fat and San Francisco is the thinnest city in the country (click HERE for the list--and be unsurprised to see that Texas has HALF of the fattest cities in America; yep, everything IS grosser in Texas!).
The love/hate part--at least for me--is the understanding that tourism helps drive the City's economy, but wanting to kill so many of them for making it difficult for me to get through Union Square, or Macy's, or Westfield's, or the Castro, or the Haight, or or or. Yes, many of these areas have become/are becoming nothing BUT tourist havens in many ways, but dammit there's still things about each of them I like and, as a local, I shouldn't have to wade through (or, frankly, even have to see) such tremendous expanses of flesh just coz I wanna get high and go to Cliff's Variety.
And then again, on the love/hate side, while I'm cursing at them for blocking the sidewalk or corner or street or whatever, I'm then looking to see what they're gawking at/taking a picture of, and realize they've helped me with Rule #2 for living in San Francisco:
2) You can never live here long enough to see every possible awesome view "postcard" style photo shot. The combination of an ever-changing urban landscape, the funky fog variations (not to mention all other possible weather variations), the hills, the nation's only mobile national monument, and more...all these things combine in various permutations to provide endless variations. And you have to make an effort to see everything. I've walked up and down Sutter Street literally hundreds and hundreds of times and I still see things I've never noticed before.
I think that's one of the things I don't like about "country" life - it's, to me, just the same old shit, every day, day in and day out....zzzzzzzzzzzz. And before you flame on me for "slamming" country living, let me just say more power to you if you appreciate that kind of "bucolic" lifestyle - I'd be happy to read your blog post on the 5 things you love about living in snoozeville. ;) I'm sure, tho, at one point, it will naturally (and to some extent rightfully so in light of my own dig) lead to some kind of slam on San Francisco for being a "Socialist" state (yes, boo hoo, compare us to Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Switzerland and all those other countries with MUCH higher standards of living, lower crime rates, less poverty, etc.), and which leads us to:
3) If you're going to live in San Francisco, prepare to be mocked for being a decent human being: we're too "lenient" on the homeless, we're too GIVING with welfare, and heaven forbid we want our community values to include NOT allowing manipulative businesses the chance to bribe kids into putting crap in their body by hiding it behind a shiny new toy. And while I'd like to just say to those folks, "Go fuck yourselves, you hypocritical freaks!" I will instead say, simply, mock and laugh all you want: I'd much rather live in a City that actually gives a shit about its citizens, and our role in the world (as well as in our community), than in a banjo-strumming backwater hellhole where they go to church on Sunday, but every other day of the week they're either working in their meth lab (wanna see how the other half lives, BTW? rent: Winter's Bone), getting drunk and beating up their wife, or attending rallies with misspelled signs and threatening the President with guns - all while complaining about the lowest tax rate in over 50 years because, by GOD, "they're" money ain't meant to go to feeding no poor (i.e., Black) person.
And again, before you flame on me for being too "mean," let me just say I'm tired of capital L Liberals being bashed in this country. I'm tired of continually being put on the defensive for NOT wanting to send our country's youth to places we have no business to kill hundreds of innocent children and civilians for every 2 or 3 real terrorists we capture or kill. I'm sick of hearing selfish, proudly uneducated "Tea Partiers" piously tout their "Christianity" while savaging their fellow man. And yes, I'm sick of being mocked (even by "allies" like Jon Stewart) when San Francisco passes another "silly" law like the Happy Meal Law (now being copied).
It's amazing how many people seem to disregard that key component of the preamble to the U.S. Constitution that says "promote the general welfare." In the end, if you want to slam SF for being too "mothering," too "giving" to the poor and homeless, too "Liberal," fine. But quit trying to act like you're a Christian at the same time. Fucking grow a pair and admit that your true religion is Capitalism - and all the selfish individualism that goes along with it. I'd actually respect you more.
But with all that being said, and as much as I try to think well of my fellow human beings (no, really, I do!), understand that in San Francisco you WILL be accosted at some point by someone "gross," scary, smelly, crazy, drunk, and/or nude. Just gawk or walk!
OKAY! Moving on! Similar to #3, something else to keep in mind when you're in San Francisco:
4) You actually have to pay attention when you throw shit away! There's not just a "trash" can in a San Francisco home or restaurant or movie theater or or or. There is a "waste" can, a "recyclable" can, and a "compost" can. In San Francisco, the citizens are actually mandated by law to separate compostable items from their trash and recyclables. The City has a goal of sending NOTHING to landfills and/or incinerators by 2020. Again, mock away - we're actually trying to do something about the trash can we're turning the Earth into.
I have to admit, tho, as "green" as I try to be, this has been hard. And I still get confused at the movie theater coz the small and medium cups can go in the compost bin, but the large have to go in the recycling (okay, I DO get that one - the large ones are made of plastic). And I don't understand why you can't put heavily soiled food containers in the compost bin. I feel badly for the folks who work there and empty the bins--ditto the fast food workers that have to do theirs--coz you know if I'm having such a problem, and still making the effort, the numerous tourists who have no such "strictures" at home (in Fatland), are just tossing their shit wherever.
5) Finally, and most importantly, in San Francisco you must reconcile yourself to getting on the bus AFTER any/all Asian women at the bus stop - no matter when they arrived at the stop relative to you. This includes an "X Zone" where x is equal to however far an Asian woman can run when she sees the bus coming. If you think I'm joking about this last one, just try - TRY - and get on a bus before an old Asian woman. I double dog dare you!
But, again, for living IN the City, it's hard to have anything better than a love/hate relationship with the ENDLESS and MASSIVE numbers of tourists. And speaking of massive, they stand out even more than tourists usually do--well, the American tourists stand out even more, that is--because they're all fat and San Francisco is the thinnest city in the country (click HERE for the list--and be unsurprised to see that Texas has HALF of the fattest cities in America; yep, everything IS grosser in Texas!).
The love/hate part--at least for me--is the understanding that tourism helps drive the City's economy, but wanting to kill so many of them for making it difficult for me to get through Union Square, or Macy's, or Westfield's, or the Castro, or the Haight, or or or. Yes, many of these areas have become/are becoming nothing BUT tourist havens in many ways, but dammit there's still things about each of them I like and, as a local, I shouldn't have to wade through (or, frankly, even have to see) such tremendous expanses of flesh just coz I wanna get high and go to Cliff's Variety.
And then again, on the love/hate side, while I'm cursing at them for blocking the sidewalk or corner or street or whatever, I'm then looking to see what they're gawking at/taking a picture of, and realize they've helped me with Rule #2 for living in San Francisco:
2) You can never live here long enough to see every possible awesome view "postcard" style photo shot. The combination of an ever-changing urban landscape, the funky fog variations (not to mention all other possible weather variations), the hills, the nation's only mobile national monument, and more...all these things combine in various permutations to provide endless variations. And you have to make an effort to see everything. I've walked up and down Sutter Street literally hundreds and hundreds of times and I still see things I've never noticed before.
I think that's one of the things I don't like about "country" life - it's, to me, just the same old shit, every day, day in and day out....zzzzzzzzzzzz. And before you flame on me for "slamming" country living, let me just say more power to you if you appreciate that kind of "bucolic" lifestyle - I'd be happy to read your blog post on the 5 things you love about living in snoozeville. ;) I'm sure, tho, at one point, it will naturally (and to some extent rightfully so in light of my own dig) lead to some kind of slam on San Francisco for being a "Socialist" state (yes, boo hoo, compare us to Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Switzerland and all those other countries with MUCH higher standards of living, lower crime rates, less poverty, etc.), and which leads us to:
3) If you're going to live in San Francisco, prepare to be mocked for being a decent human being: we're too "lenient" on the homeless, we're too GIVING with welfare, and heaven forbid we want our community values to include NOT allowing manipulative businesses the chance to bribe kids into putting crap in their body by hiding it behind a shiny new toy. And while I'd like to just say to those folks, "Go fuck yourselves, you hypocritical freaks!" I will instead say, simply, mock and laugh all you want: I'd much rather live in a City that actually gives a shit about its citizens, and our role in the world (as well as in our community), than in a banjo-strumming backwater hellhole where they go to church on Sunday, but every other day of the week they're either working in their meth lab (wanna see how the other half lives, BTW? rent: Winter's Bone), getting drunk and beating up their wife, or attending rallies with misspelled signs and threatening the President with guns - all while complaining about the lowest tax rate in over 50 years because, by GOD, "they're" money ain't meant to go to feeding no poor (i.e., Black) person.
And again, before you flame on me for being too "mean," let me just say I'm tired of capital L Liberals being bashed in this country. I'm tired of continually being put on the defensive for NOT wanting to send our country's youth to places we have no business to kill hundreds of innocent children and civilians for every 2 or 3 real terrorists we capture or kill. I'm sick of hearing selfish, proudly uneducated "Tea Partiers" piously tout their "Christianity" while savaging their fellow man. And yes, I'm sick of being mocked (even by "allies" like Jon Stewart) when San Francisco passes another "silly" law like the Happy Meal Law (now being copied).
It's amazing how many people seem to disregard that key component of the preamble to the U.S. Constitution that says "promote the general welfare." In the end, if you want to slam SF for being too "mothering," too "giving" to the poor and homeless, too "Liberal," fine. But quit trying to act like you're a Christian at the same time. Fucking grow a pair and admit that your true religion is Capitalism - and all the selfish individualism that goes along with it. I'd actually respect you more.
But with all that being said, and as much as I try to think well of my fellow human beings (no, really, I do!), understand that in San Francisco you WILL be accosted at some point by someone "gross," scary, smelly, crazy, drunk, and/or nude. Just gawk or walk!
OKAY! Moving on! Similar to #3, something else to keep in mind when you're in San Francisco:
4) You actually have to pay attention when you throw shit away! There's not just a "trash" can in a San Francisco home or restaurant or movie theater or or or. There is a "waste" can, a "recyclable" can, and a "compost" can. In San Francisco, the citizens are actually mandated by law to separate compostable items from their trash and recyclables. The City has a goal of sending NOTHING to landfills and/or incinerators by 2020. Again, mock away - we're actually trying to do something about the trash can we're turning the Earth into.
I have to admit, tho, as "green" as I try to be, this has been hard. And I still get confused at the movie theater coz the small and medium cups can go in the compost bin, but the large have to go in the recycling (okay, I DO get that one - the large ones are made of plastic). And I don't understand why you can't put heavily soiled food containers in the compost bin. I feel badly for the folks who work there and empty the bins--ditto the fast food workers that have to do theirs--coz you know if I'm having such a problem, and still making the effort, the numerous tourists who have no such "strictures" at home (in Fatland), are just tossing their shit wherever.
5) Finally, and most importantly, in San Francisco you must reconcile yourself to getting on the bus AFTER any/all Asian women at the bus stop - no matter when they arrived at the stop relative to you. This includes an "X Zone" where x is equal to however far an Asian woman can run when she sees the bus coming. If you think I'm joking about this last one, just try - TRY - and get on a bus before an old Asian woman. I double dog dare you!
5/10/11
Women & Children First......Into the Abyss, that is!
"Great" line from a recent article: In a time of war and record unemployment, the GOP is sending a message: fertile women are the country’s number one enemy, and their freedoms must be quashed at all costs. I know many people are thinking "What is UP with all this attack on women, children, and the poor lately?" And all I can say is lately? This country has historically, shamefully, lagged beyond other "modern," industrialized nations in how we treat women & children.
The just-passed Mother's Day prompted a piece in the Chronicle that shows the U.S. ranks 34th out of 44 developed countries in a ranking of conditions for motherhood. Of course the top ten is a Who's Who of those dirty "Socialist" countries that actually use their resources and taxes on helping people rather than killing them: Norway, Australia, Iceland, Sweden, Denmark, New Zealand, Finland, Belgium, Holland, and France. The U.S. is a whole 2 spots above Belarus and below such earthly paradises as: Slovakia, Croatia, and Latvia! Woo-hoo! BTW, they measured things like maternity leave, income, political clout, life expectancy, maternal & infant mortality, etc.).
Most shockingly, a woman in the U.S. is seven times as likely as a woman in Italy or Ireland to die from pregnancy-related causes, and her risk is FIFTEEN times that of a woman in Greece! SERIOUSLY? We need to send U.S. women to fucking Greece so that they're less likely to die in childbirth?? What's wrong with this picture??
Here on the home front, another recent study looked just at the U.S., and at women in general, to determine the "worst states to be a woman in." The list, on the whole, shouldn't be a surprise to anyone with half a brain: Mississippi, Texas, S. Dakota, Indiana, Oklahoma (top 5, baby!), Kansas, Minnesota(!), Georgia, Arizona, and Louisiana.
As mentioned, it's not enough that we treat women like shit, we have to be evil to the kids, too (I guess this is a good thing for little girls, so they can be ready for a lifetime of second-class citizenship). And if you think moms have it bad here, kids rank even worse: 34th (what's interesting here is that Japan ranks 2nd for kids, but 28th for moms).
Again, you've got your Swedens and your Norways and your Frances in the Top 10, while the U.S. languishes below such kid-friendly countries as Lituania and Hungary and right above Serbia! Woo-hoo! We beat Serbia! We're number 34! We're number 34!
I think what makes these stats most appalling is the ignorance in this country re: how "awesome" we are and how shitty everyone else is. But what does it say about a country that is SO rich, SO powerful, etc., and yet can't even crack the top 20 in terms of how we treat women & children? It's sad, scary, horrible, and anger-inducing beyond belief!
As the Chronicle so nicely summed it up, "The Hallmark cards, flowers, and family brunches are nice gestures. But...let us not be under any illusion that we are doing enough (for women)." Or children, for that matter. :(
For more info/stats on women & children throughout the world, click HERE.
For more info/stats on the 10 worst states to be a woman, click HERE.
The just-passed Mother's Day prompted a piece in the Chronicle that shows the U.S. ranks 34th out of 44 developed countries in a ranking of conditions for motherhood. Of course the top ten is a Who's Who of those dirty "Socialist" countries that actually use their resources and taxes on helping people rather than killing them: Norway, Australia, Iceland, Sweden, Denmark, New Zealand, Finland, Belgium, Holland, and France. The U.S. is a whole 2 spots above Belarus and below such earthly paradises as: Slovakia, Croatia, and Latvia! Woo-hoo! BTW, they measured things like maternity leave, income, political clout, life expectancy, maternal & infant mortality, etc.).
Most shockingly, a woman in the U.S. is seven times as likely as a woman in Italy or Ireland to die from pregnancy-related causes, and her risk is FIFTEEN times that of a woman in Greece! SERIOUSLY? We need to send U.S. women to fucking Greece so that they're less likely to die in childbirth?? What's wrong with this picture??
Here on the home front, another recent study looked just at the U.S., and at women in general, to determine the "worst states to be a woman in." The list, on the whole, shouldn't be a surprise to anyone with half a brain: Mississippi, Texas, S. Dakota, Indiana, Oklahoma (top 5, baby!), Kansas, Minnesota(!), Georgia, Arizona, and Louisiana.
As mentioned, it's not enough that we treat women like shit, we have to be evil to the kids, too (I guess this is a good thing for little girls, so they can be ready for a lifetime of second-class citizenship). And if you think moms have it bad here, kids rank even worse: 34th (what's interesting here is that Japan ranks 2nd for kids, but 28th for moms).
Again, you've got your Swedens and your Norways and your Frances in the Top 10, while the U.S. languishes below such kid-friendly countries as Lituania and Hungary and right above Serbia! Woo-hoo! We beat Serbia! We're number 34! We're number 34!
I think what makes these stats most appalling is the ignorance in this country re: how "awesome" we are and how shitty everyone else is. But what does it say about a country that is SO rich, SO powerful, etc., and yet can't even crack the top 20 in terms of how we treat women & children? It's sad, scary, horrible, and anger-inducing beyond belief!
As the Chronicle so nicely summed it up, "The Hallmark cards, flowers, and family brunches are nice gestures. But...let us not be under any illusion that we are doing enough (for women)." Or children, for that matter. :(
For more info/stats on women & children throughout the world, click HERE.
For more info/stats on the 10 worst states to be a woman, click HERE.
5/4/11
Deep thoughts, cheap shots and bon mots - XV
Let's start with some "fun" facts from Harper's Index:
Estimated number of feet eastward that Japan's main island was moved by March's earthquake: 8
Confirmed number of terrorist plots against the U.S. perpetrated by Muslims in 2010: 10
By non-Muslims: 25
Amount the Defense Department spent last year on military bands: $317,000,000
Percent change in U.S. labor productivity since 1972: +114
Percent change in wages during that same period: -6
Percentage by which an American is more likely than a non-American to suffer from bipolar disorder: 100
Age of the youngest person facing life without parole in the U.S.: 13
Average salary difference between a starting New York public teacher and a first-year private lawyer in 1970: $2,000
Today: $106,000
Although all of the above stats are compelling, there are two that really stick out (well, 3): the last two, which goes to show what we think about/how we support children in this country - and the paired stats on productivity vs. wages.
On and on, Republican blowhards talk about poor businessmen being saddled with taxes (even tho we hear over and over how the biggest ones aren't paying squat), and how they're "punished" for driving the economy, and how unions are the real bad guys, etc., etc., etc.
And yet, despite more than DOUBLING worker productivity, the selfish, greedy, lying, hypocritical business owners have seen fit to CUT wages. In the meantime, CEO salaries and bonuses are through the roof. AGAIN, where is the fucking revolution??
Moving on! I kinda like that brief moment of confusion/weirdness when you open your mailbox to find a letter addressed to you in your own handwriting. There's that momentary, "WTF?" feeling that you've entered a parallel universe.....until you remember what/why you sent off a SASE, and what it includes, in the first place. Wild.
Random weirdness: just a month ago, I'd never heard the word "supernumerary" nor knew what it was. I've now heard it twice in the past couple of weeks in totally different contexts: Don's first post-divorce date on "Mad Men" and an article on a guy in New York who volunteered as a supernumerary for an opera house in NYC. Wild.
My new favorite lame commercial is from Comcast; it's a series of shout-outs from their employees (or actors playing employees) trying to convince us all that Comcast really gives a shit about any of their customers. What makes it my favorite is this one guy who says, "I'm a professional....At least I try to be."
What makes this fun is the slightly, tho (I assume) unintended, bitchy tone he uses. It's kind of like he's snidely referring to a co-worker who is NOT "professional." Like what he REALLY wants to say is "I'm a professional....At least I try to be.....unlike that bitch in Accounting!"
Better yet, towards the end, this guy says, in an almost resigned tone of voice, "We're only as good as our word.....and our word is good." That just seems like a letdown to me.
Finally - another drug besides heroin I would never consider doing: Whoonga! Altho it sounds fun, it actually is a cocktail of various detergents, rat poison, and--tragically--anti-retroviral (ARV) drugs being sent to deal with South Africa's AIDS crisis. So of course people are robbing HIV+ folks to get their ARVs. As if Africa hasn't suffered enough. Here's what Wikipedia has to say about whoonga:
The drug is described as highly addictive. Project Whoonga, a charity devoted to combating the drug, reports that users feel heavy cravings even on the first day of use. It is also dangerous, because it reduces both heart and lung function. In overdose, heart and lung function reduction becomes fatal. Withdrawal symptoms reportedly involve both craving and pain, which are temporarily relieved by fresh doses of the drug.
I just don't understand who comes up with these ideas! "Hey, let's mix up some detergent, rat poison, marijuana and/or heroin, and also throw in some ARVs just for shits and giggles!" The ARVs don't even contribute to the high! Sigh. It's a sad, scary world out there sometimes.
Since I don't want to end on a downer note, and speaking of Comcast, check out this fun article wherein this guy reports on efforts to determine if the "Live Chat Comcast Representative" is, in fact, a robot. Click HERE to check that out.
Estimated number of feet eastward that Japan's main island was moved by March's earthquake: 8
Confirmed number of terrorist plots against the U.S. perpetrated by Muslims in 2010: 10
By non-Muslims: 25
Amount the Defense Department spent last year on military bands: $317,000,000
Percent change in U.S. labor productivity since 1972: +114
Percent change in wages during that same period: -6
Percentage by which an American is more likely than a non-American to suffer from bipolar disorder: 100
Age of the youngest person facing life without parole in the U.S.: 13
Average salary difference between a starting New York public teacher and a first-year private lawyer in 1970: $2,000
Today: $106,000
Although all of the above stats are compelling, there are two that really stick out (well, 3): the last two, which goes to show what we think about/how we support children in this country - and the paired stats on productivity vs. wages.
On and on, Republican blowhards talk about poor businessmen being saddled with taxes (even tho we hear over and over how the biggest ones aren't paying squat), and how they're "punished" for driving the economy, and how unions are the real bad guys, etc., etc., etc.
And yet, despite more than DOUBLING worker productivity, the selfish, greedy, lying, hypocritical business owners have seen fit to CUT wages. In the meantime, CEO salaries and bonuses are through the roof. AGAIN, where is the fucking revolution??
Moving on! I kinda like that brief moment of confusion/weirdness when you open your mailbox to find a letter addressed to you in your own handwriting. There's that momentary, "WTF?" feeling that you've entered a parallel universe.....until you remember what/why you sent off a SASE, and what it includes, in the first place. Wild.
Random weirdness: just a month ago, I'd never heard the word "supernumerary" nor knew what it was. I've now heard it twice in the past couple of weeks in totally different contexts: Don's first post-divorce date on "Mad Men" and an article on a guy in New York who volunteered as a supernumerary for an opera house in NYC. Wild.
My new favorite lame commercial is from Comcast; it's a series of shout-outs from their employees (or actors playing employees) trying to convince us all that Comcast really gives a shit about any of their customers. What makes it my favorite is this one guy who says, "I'm a professional....At least I try to be."
What makes this fun is the slightly, tho (I assume) unintended, bitchy tone he uses. It's kind of like he's snidely referring to a co-worker who is NOT "professional." Like what he REALLY wants to say is "I'm a professional....At least I try to be.....unlike that bitch in Accounting!"
Better yet, towards the end, this guy says, in an almost resigned tone of voice, "We're only as good as our word.....and our word is good." That just seems like a letdown to me.
Finally - another drug besides heroin I would never consider doing: Whoonga! Altho it sounds fun, it actually is a cocktail of various detergents, rat poison, and--tragically--anti-retroviral (ARV) drugs being sent to deal with South Africa's AIDS crisis. So of course people are robbing HIV+ folks to get their ARVs. As if Africa hasn't suffered enough. Here's what Wikipedia has to say about whoonga:
The drug is described as highly addictive. Project Whoonga, a charity devoted to combating the drug, reports that users feel heavy cravings even on the first day of use. It is also dangerous, because it reduces both heart and lung function. In overdose, heart and lung function reduction becomes fatal. Withdrawal symptoms reportedly involve both craving and pain, which are temporarily relieved by fresh doses of the drug.
I just don't understand who comes up with these ideas! "Hey, let's mix up some detergent, rat poison, marijuana and/or heroin, and also throw in some ARVs just for shits and giggles!" The ARVs don't even contribute to the high! Sigh. It's a sad, scary world out there sometimes.
Since I don't want to end on a downer note, and speaking of Comcast, check out this fun article wherein this guy reports on efforts to determine if the "Live Chat Comcast Representative" is, in fact, a robot. Click HERE to check that out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)