Congratulations America - We've Completely Jumped the Shark as a Functional Society!

So I’ve spent the past week or so listening to “the other side.” You know, the whole “know your enemy thing.” I watched part of the GOP convention, saw interviews with many of the delegates, read boatloads of stuff, and watched a variety of news shows with Republican “talking heads” – writers, politicians, pundits, bureaucrats, etc. Although I am, admittedly, biased, I was stunned at the level of their ignorance and shamelessness. As a long-time student of History, I honestly and truly - and unfortunately - believe that this country has truly “jumped the shark” in terms of our ability to functionally govern ourselves. When fully half the country believes and says such outrageously ridiculous things, there is truly no hope. Witness: Dinesh D’Souza, appearing on Bill Maher’s show, insists that he “knows” Obama. He knows him well enough, in fact, to make a documentary entitled 2016: Obama’s America that, unsurprisingly, trots out that stupid canard about Obama being a Socialist, that claims you can hear all the “rage” in Obama by reading his books, and that the President is heavily influenced by the father he never spent time with, and his supposedly horrible “anti-colonialist” views. As if there is something wrong with being anti-colonialist—not to mention the fact, that in this day & age, it doesn’t mean squat if you’re anti-colonialist as no one has colonies anymore! When D’Souza was pressed on how it is that he “knows” what is in Obama’s heart, he freely admits that he has never even met the man, never spoken with him, etc. But the yokels still flock to his movie, praising him as a “conservative Michael Moore,” despite the fact that Moore either knew much more about his subjects or at least made the effort – sometimes “guerilla style” – to talk to them, learn why they do and say the things they do, etc. To watch this simpering little twit make his inane, gross assumptions was appalling not only because of his ludicrous claims, but in the surety with which he presented them and the willingness of all the slack-jawed, gap-toothed, in-bred racist yokels to swallow the claptrap. Later, on the same show, Maher had a former Bush administration official – their token black guy – who continued to argue vociferously against climate change. Again, despite all the evidence, despite the fairly general scientific consensus, etc. When it became clear (again) how stupid he sounded, he said that we should just “agree to disagree.” No. We can’t. The science is there. It’s observable to ANYONE with half a brain, so no, we can’t “agree to disagree” when one side is spouting made up, head in the sand, denialist shit and the other side has facts and science on its side. On several shows, I saw interviews with GOP convention delegates. While of course all of them were white, there was still a fair amount of “diversity” in terms of age, sex (both of them!), etc. And yet the ignorance, hate, and hypocrisy still shone through. Ridiculous signs like “Jesus Hates Obama” (although I am a committed atheist, this type of shit disgusts me beyond measure – I honestly don’t see how ANYONE can be SO fucking ignorant as to honestly think Jesus would “hate” Obama ….or fags…or, well, anyone). Just as astonishing was the breadth of their hypocrisy. When many delegates were asked how to reconcile Romney’s position on abortion, which is still to the left of the GOP platform, delegate after delegate, with no clue whatsoever regarding their hypocrisy, asserted that, even though they may not agree with Mitt’s “radical” stance to “allow” a rape victim to decide what to do with her own body, they uniformly stated that it was his right to have a differing view. More than one actually said stuff along the lines of “well, of course, everyone has the right to make their own decision about something like this….something so personal” I mean, seriously, how can we ever hope to move forward in this country with ignorance and hypocrisy like this running rampant? Speaking of the double-whammy of ignorance and hypocrisy, were these same delegates twisted labeling of the “true Christian” in this race. When confronted with the endless disagreements these people had with Romney, they were still going to vote for him because he’s a “good, Christian man.” Of course we don’t need to be reminded of these yahoos ridiculous, slack-jawed assertions that Obama is a Muslim, but what’s even more appalling is that, even a cursory study of Mormonism would show these “Christians” that one of the most “interesting” tent pole aspects of Mormonism is the acceptance/belief that the Virgin Mary was not, in fact, a virgin. You can dismiss their silly magic underwear, the polygamy, the only recent admission that blacks are not sub-human, the “fact” that God lives on the planet Kobol, etc. But the idea that Jesus Christ was not the product of an immaculate conception is a more than significant tear in the very fabric of what makes Christianity “unique.” Oh well, no matter, at least he’s not a black guy. The fact that another hurricane was bearing down on the country for the second GOP convention in a row also brought the hypocrisy out of the GOP. Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal has been one of the most consistent GOP mouthpieces railing against “intrusive government” and the idea that Democrats expect the government to do everything, and it’s destroying the country, blah blah blah. And yet, rather than pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, rather than let the “free market” help address the devastation and clean up, Jindal railed against Obama for not providing more government largesse to Louisiana. The depth and breadth of their hypocrisy and cynicism is truly breathtaking. “The Daily Show” did this interesting thing where they interviewed delegates about the GOP assertion that we need a “businessman” to run the country—that the U.S. as a whole needs to be run like a business. The reporters played along, agreed with the assertion, and then asked what state the delegate was from. Of course most of the ones squealing the loudest for the “business” argument were the ones from the reddest of the red states. And, of course, most of the red states are, in fact, “in the red” in terms of how much money they suck from the government teat vs. how much they contribute. I swear to god, when confronted with this information, and the reporters’ suggestion that these “failing states” need to be cut loose or shipped off to India, they had no response. Most of them were, in fact, surprised to hear that their state was a welfare state. But did it matter? Pfft, are you kidding me? The GOP is so very aware now of how appalled most any thinking person is about their hypocrisy, their disgusting selfishness, hatred, and greed, their demonization of women, gays, etc., that their only chance now is to disenfranchise as many people as possible—thus the across the board effort, particularly in swing states, to make sure poor people, minorities, and the elderly can’t vote. Here in Oklahoma – the reddest of reds – a senior citizen had problems voting last week. Keep in mind this was just for a bond measure. The only thing on the ballot. When he couldn’t locate his driver’s license, the guy presented his Air Force I.D. The poll worker said, “Oh. Well. We really need a government I.D.” The guy pointed out that his was issued by the U.S. Dept. of Defense. So the poll worker says, “Oh. Well. We need an I.D. that has an expiration date.” The guy patiently pointed out the expiration date on his DoD I.D. Even then, they said, “Oh. Well. We really need to see a driver’s license.” Seriously. But all this shit: the hypocrisy, the disenfranchisement, the ignorance, the hate and absurd hyperbole (“elect Obama and we’ll enter a thousand years of darkness!”), none of these are why we have finally, truly jumped the shark in this country. Most all of these things have been a feature of politics from day one – and not just in the U.S. (although, to be fair, we have “elevated” most of these “arts” to an absurd level – U.S.A.! U.S.A.!). The pivot that, I think, has finally pushed us over the edge is the blatant and astonishingly cynical attack on “fact checkers.” The Romney campaign has flat-out said they won’t be beholden to the truth in this campaign. Paul Ryan told numerous, blatant lies in his convention speech, and yet still he was lauded. Even FOX – FOX – called him out and said he’d set a record for blatant falsehoods in a speech. And still it doesn’t matter; still, they repeat most of the ridiculous assertions that have been proven wrong – stuff that any fucking 10 year old with an internet connection could disprove. And so what? They’re not being held accountable. Although almost 30 years late, we are truly approaching Orwell’s “1984.” The Bush administration crony on Maher’s show actually said, “Well, maybe the fact checkers need to be checked.” And that’s the example that sums everything up. Truth no longer matters. Hypocrisy and hate are applauded and rewarded. Selfishness and greed are considered the benchmarks of a successful society. And anyone who dares to claim otherwise will be labeled, derided, and if none of that works, then a bunch of shit will just be made up about them to keep them from blocking our forward march into utter chaos. Hide and watch. Seriously, you better hide because I guarantee you this kind of shit does not go unpunished—be that punishment from God, from Karma, whatever. We will pay. Just like we did when we allowed Bush to be installed as President over the popular vote of the people. Just like the Romans paid when their society became so corrupt, just like the Soviets paid, etc. etc. etc. From a historical standpoint, it’s kind of exciting; but I weep for my son and nephews & nieces who will grow end up living in a completely dystopian society. :(

My religion can beat up your religion!

I am officially coming out. As a Cannabist. I, like untold millions of closeted, semi-closeted, or out and proud cannabists, believe that cannabis is as worthy a deity as the ones currently vying for humanity’s attention. Witness! The “worship” of Cannabis promotes peace. While it can also provide, like most religions, a crutch to help you through life’s difficult passages, unlike other religions Cannabisism does not DEMAND that you “smite thine enemies,” and it does not require you to proselytize and attempt to gain converts. Cannabists believe in sharing the gospel of Cannabis, make no mistake; but at the same time, we happy souls are more than fine with sharing only with those who wish to willingly partake in the joy and wisdom inherent in Cannabis worship. Just don’t harsh our buzz (i.e., interrupt our prayers). Unlike other religions, Cannabisism doesn’t try to make you feel like shit in this life so that you have to constantly beg forgiveness or feel guilty about the Easter Bunny dying for your sins or whatever. In fact, the worship of Cannabis leads to most everything seeming wonderful. Music is better. Games are more fun. You don’t hate the world so much. Movies are more entertaining. You have TONS more patience with unruly or bratty children. You don’t feel the need to kill, or hate, or judge (okay, maybe the last one – but only in amusing contexts, like sniggering judgmentally over what “trash” Kourtney Kardashian is compared to Kim). Cannabisism is superior to other religions in that there are very few RULES. Like, again, no smiting. Of course, most Cannabists adhere to the “basics” from most world religions (don’t lie, cheat, steal, or kill, etc.), but we’re totally fine with you shaving your beard, women showing their faces, wearing a polyester blend with a cotton denim vest over it—just don’t expect us to not laugh. And as far as who you want to love, knock yourself out. Altho, unlike Christians, most Cannabists are not too keen on the idea of bestiality. (Yes, that’s somewhere in the Old Testament….the book of Deuteronomy or Madonna or something….oh, oops, the book of Madonna will be in the 29th century version of the King James Bible; my bad). As some of you may be aware, like many other religions, there are “sects” of Cannabisism. Some swear by the Kush sect, while others promote Maui Wowie. Some are Indica freaks while others swear by Sativa. But the good thing about Cannabisism is that you can move freely between sects, depending on your mood, and you will still feel rewarded by your communion. Also like other religions, people are either Orthodox/hardcore Cannabists while others are only “weekend Cannabists.” Again, whatever is your bag, man, you are FREE to CHOOSE! Finally, and again like some other religions, how you choose to worship is up to you, and when you need to lean on its saving graces, Cannabis is there to serve YOU. If it’s a joint before bed to help with insomnia, or a brownie after chemo to keep you from puking and to help get you to eat. Maybe it’s a vaporizer to help with arthritis pain in the morning. Whatever the need, whatever your preferences, Cannabis is there to help you. With no judgment. With no hate. And with none of the harmful side effects of the drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol that your other religion’s folks use thanks to Satan! (Good news, BTW: there is NO Satan in Cannabisism!). I guarantee you that if everyone suddenly converted to Cannabisism—and, again, totally up to you—the world would instantly be a significantly better place to live in. Won’t you all join hands with me and not bogart the joint? Amen, brothers & sisters!

Oklahoma Lives in Black & White

While I suppose I may have realized this, at least subconsciously, during the time I was growing up here, my return to Oklahoma, and the time spent here now after much more “life experience” and in comparison to other places I’ve lived, has brought a realization of, perhaps, the primary “con” I’ve discovered about living here: to most folks here, everything is black or white. There are no shades of gray. Unfortunately, an aspect of this thinking also seems to contribute to a deep lack of intellectual curiosity. Of course, at the end of the day, one could posit that such a thing is not necessarily “bad;” it simply is. It is what it is, in other words. One example: I have remarked frequently, and I feel understandably, that the weather in Oklahoma, on the whole, sucks. The summers are usually too hot and humid, the springs bring tornadoes and other destructive storms, and the winters can be icy and bitterly cold what with the wind chill. Additionally, the populace—again, in general—are very conservative, deeply religious, and racist/intolerant. But when I point these things out, or whine about them rather, then it’s decided that I hate every single thing and every single person in the state. It doesn’t matter that I can appreciate the fall seasons here, enjoy the football culture, love (most of) my family, and like many of the people. Because I point out the bad things, I’m evil and dismissive of everything. The reason they assume that, however, is because that is how most of them are. For example: if someone here has a bad experience with a person or entity, then anything related to that experience automatically puts any future similar experiences into the same category—before “new” folks even have had a chance to prove otherwise. A black person is using food stamps at the store? Well, then ALL black people are welfare leeches. Someone borrows money from you and doesn’t pay you back? Well, then everyone is a thief and you shouldn’t loan money to anyone. I don’t know if it’s laziness or what, but it’s like people find it much easier to lump whole groups of people or actions together, based on one or two experiences, rather than take the time to critically analyze whether or not someone you know might need to be treated differently, or given some leeway, even tho other “similar” folks they’ve dealt with did X or didn’t do Y or whatever. And god forbid you act “differently” or out of the norm. Then you’re just flat out crazy and/or can’t be trusted. I know a lot of this has to do with the lack of diversity here, and limited experiences for most folks to a wide range of people and circumstances. But what makes it particularly appalling and hard to swallow is the pervasive “Christianity.” Church attendance is high, there’s still a “religion” section in the newspapers, people bleat out religious phrasing in signs on their lawns, in notices celebrating graduations and what not, all over Facebook, etc. And yet, the attitudes and interactions are strictly OLD testament; the hypocrisy is appalling. People are nice to your face, but rip you to shreds behind your back. There’s a general stinginess and selfishness here. And so on. What’s wild is that it’s very reminiscent of my time in Kazakhstan. When I was there, they were still “suffering” from the lingering effects of Communism. Folks there were awful about putting you in a category and leaving you there. It didn’t matter how you tried, if it was decided you were a “hooligan,” then by god you were a hooligan; and it wasn’t because of anything you’d done, it was because your father and/or mother were that way, or because someone just like you was that way, or you had done something once that was considered “bad,” and so that’s it. You’re bad. They explained silly and outlandish customs as “tradition,” and didn’t bother to think things could be done differently, or more effectively. And, like here, if you stood out, acted differently, didn’t follow their “rules,” then you were considered silly or crazy or not to be trusted. And of course it’s much better to lie to someone and be “nice” rather than to be honest. Seriously? Most people here honestly seem to think that if you disagree with something someone does or says, it’s better to pretend you agree—that, for some reason, if you don’t agree, then that means you don’t like them. It’s amazing. Again, of course there are exceptions. A good chunk of my family, for example, are not like this; and I know a fair number of tolerant, kind, progressive folks here who do bother to make distinctions between related groups and/or activities. But they are in the minority; and a significant minority at that. It certainly brings up a broad metaphysical question: is it “necessary” to have people and regions like this? Is this just an outpost (among others) that is taking longer than others to become more “enlightened,” more progressive, etc.? Obviously, one can’t decry a refusal to accept all sides of human nature while simultaneously damning a group for NOT accepting all sides of human nature. Or can you? Discuss. :)

Spring has Sprung in Oklahoma

So I was catching up on some personal correspondence yesterday afternoon, Friday the 13th (believe it or not, I still have a few folks I keep in touch with solely through snail mail! in 2012!), when I noticed it was abnormally dark outside. After I flipped on a light, I heard the Norman air raid siren. I thought, "Hmmm, that only goes off on Saturday at noon," so went to my front door and windows. I decided to call my brother and see if that meant a tornado was in the area, as I knew we had a 'chance' of having 'severe thunderstorms' that day. Unfortunately, my cell wasn't getting a signal.

I looked out the window again, it's a little after 4pm at this point, and it starts raining. So I think, "Thank god - I don't have to water all my newly planted flowers!" Then it started raining harder. And the wind picked up. And picked up. And the rain was coming down in buckets/sheets. The air sirens take up again and I notice the wind has suddenly started HOWLING. I seriously have never witnessed wind like that. I was torn between thinking, "Cool!" and "OMG, my rose bush!" :)

Suddenly I see a BRIGHT flash of lightning that looked REALLY close, and heard a tremendous crack as a huge branch tears off a large tree in my front yard. I thought "Okay, surely that tree was not struck by lightning" and then see a larger part of the branch flying down the street - along with a couple of neighbors' large trash cans. And I mean FLYING down the street. The lights kick out for about 10 seconds, the rain stops dead, and the wind, incredibly, has kicked up a notch. Little did I know that it was probably right around that time that the tornado was ripping the roof off a building barely two blocks away from me, as well as ripping huge trees out by their roots in the hospital parking lot behind my house (the rain had stopped coz the VERY WIDE tornado was sucking all the rain into it).

I have to say, it was pretty mesmerizing. I basically stood at my window, gawping like a slack-jawed yokel at the wind and the rain. If I'd known a tornado was tearing itself through my neighborhood, I might have actually been scairt! :) But since I only have TV during football season, I was in the dark. Plus, with a rock house, I'm no doubt safer than many others. After things finally calmed down, my phone service came back on and my parents called to make sure I wasn't dead. I then checked my voice mail and had multiple messages - the last being the best.

After a voice mail from my parents checking on me, there was one from my brother who lives 8 blocks away also checking to see if I was alive. I recognize the number from the last voice mail as from my birth mom, and I was ready for the "OMG, are you all right?" But instead, she says, "OMG, David, I just wanted to see if Kyle is all right!" Remember, my son Kyle is still in Petaluma, CA - 1,500 miles away. But apparently, he'd been on Facebook earlier lamenting his broken heart from a cheating girlfriend. Which, apparently, to his grandmother, trumps her son living in the path of tornado! I love it! But seriously, I do. My boy IS more important than me, but it was still kind of funny.

Once things calmed down, I decided to bike over to my little brother's house and check on them. It was weird/eerie seeing all the damage just within the 8 blocks between our homes. Huge, old trees completely uprooted and toppled over. Sections of roofs and small structures ripped up and tossed willy-nilly, all over the place - often blocks away from where they originally stood. Trees that had the bark stripped clean off them! Wild.

My brother's family had had their own adventure. When the tornado hit, they had all but one of their day care kids with them (along with their daughter and grand-daughter) - about 6 kids between the ages of a few months and 4 years old. When they were told by the weather guys to head for the nearest shelter, my brother & sister-in-law chucked all the kids in the van and headed for the shelter a few blocks away--which happens to be a Wal-Mart. But when they get there, the door is bolted, and there are folks inside just staring out at them, refusing to open the door and let them in! Good thing for community shelters, eh? They all survived, fortunately, although my sister-in-law's new minivan was damaged. Bummer.

As much as my poor boy is grieving over his broken heart, he's probably glad he wasn't with me, as he is TERRIFIED of tornadoes! But, being away as I have, living mostly in places with very little severe weather, it was actually kind of cool for me. Yeah, I'm a dork. But it certainly helped remind me of one of THE major reasons I left this state in the first place: absolutely atrocious weather.

While this past winter was incredibly mild, Oklahoma often has bone-chilling winters, with wind that makes it feel even colder - not to mention the occasional blizzard or, worse, ice storm. Then spring comes and it's torrential downpours and/or tornadoes. Summer brings ungodly humidity and/or hellishly, endlessly hot weather. It's just a non-stop thrill ride.

My "5-year-plan" to reconnect with family before moving to Portland may end up being adjusted by a few/4 years! :)

Pros & Cons of SF vs. Oklahoma

So it’s kind of hard for me to believe it hasn’t even yet been three months since I returned to Oklahoma. It seems like much longer – so much for time flying when you get old. The thing I have missed most about San Francisco is a tie between the Diversity and the Convenience. And the way the two combine there…..sigh. Of course, I miss my boy more than anything, but that’s another subject….

I miss the 3 different excellent Thai spots – all within 3 blocks of my apartment. I miss having a 16-screen movie theater, a 4 screen independent theater, my credit union’s ATM, a major grocery store, several mom & pops, and tons of other eating options all within 5 blocks. City blocks. I miss seeing non-white people. Hearing other languages.

Luckily, I haven’t yet had to really miss the weather. Oklahoma has had a very unseasonably warm winter, so stay tuned for whining on that front once the temps start hitting 90 this summer. Wah! Oh, and when the bugs start showing up. Ugh. Sigh. California, why do you have to be so expensive?

On the plus side, there’s lots of cool eateries in Norman/Oklahoma that aren’t in SF, so that’s been a plus. Including one of my all-time fave Mexican places – El Chico’s – and my favorite greasy spoon American, Sonic (mmmmmmm, chili cheese tater tots).

And of course it’s been nice to be back around the family – scissor out drama here – particularly the nieces and nephews . I realized that once my sister gets my new nephew from Africa, he will be my 12th – that is dozenth- nephew/niece. My gawd, I think that’s plenty – effing breeders! :)

A cool thing here is having a house. Although my HUGE back yard is starting to look like a jungle, so I’ll have to break down and buy – and use – a lawnmower! While I do miss the awesome apartment I had in SF, I will say it’s cool having a house, being able to plant flowers, etc., etc., etc.

But migodmigodmigod I miss the politics/culture from the Bay Area. The racism and the religion here…..ugh. It’s actually kind of silly that two such disparate states should be “ruled” by one and the same president. Break it up! Break it up! I mean, we can’t get effing Trader Joe’s out here because Oklahomans think, somehow, that selling Two Buck Chuck in the same store as they’re selling chocolate covered pretzels leads somehow to Hell. I seriously don’t get it. This is 2012.

The year that Oklahoma will vote for – wait, Super Tuesday is tomorrow – I will call it and say they’ll go for Santorum. It not him, then Newt. I don’t know which is more humiliating. While driving to OKC last week for a job interview, I heard a couple of radio ads for Newt from a Super PAC. Around town (Norman!), I’ve seen Santorum and Paul signs. But absolutely nada for Romney. The best thing about a Romney ultimate win is that, in the general election, many Repubs will stay home; hopefully enough to balance the Dems that will stay home pouting because Obama turned out to be (gasp!) another cowardly politician. But I feel safe in saying there will be no Romney win in Oklahoma. That fella ain’t conservative enuf! (later: turns out I was right!)

I’ve been away so long I forget why, exactly, they are so hysterical here, legislatively, re: marijuana. I mean, you have to be completely deluded or, well, ignorant, at this point to not see the ludicrousness of a drug policy that allows alcohol and cigarette consumption, yet is so. very. anti-pot. I mean, even Pat Robertson has come out for legalization! Again, both alcohol and cigarettes are horribly addictive, while pot is not (for some, psychological addiction can occur); alcohol and cigarettes kill thousands upon thousands of people each year while marijuana generally kills around zero; while there have been some beneficial attributes found in alcohol, there is certainly none in cigarettes, while pot has been clinically proven to help with glaucoma (me), depression, chronic pain, insomnia (me), dealing with cancer/cancer treatment, etc. etc. So help me out here, local folks – red or not, what exactly is the rationale for the continued marijuana-panic? Is it “simply” a “morals” thing? Like, “Ugh! My preacher say pot bad, so pot bad!” I really want to know.

I learned when applying for the Big Brothers/Big Sisters job, that Oklahoma incarcerates more of its female population, per capita, than any other state in the country. Even more than Texas! Or Mississippi! I always thought we could rely on Mississippi to be the bottom of, well, everything. “We’re” #3 in terms of incarcerating men. Also in the top 5 for meth labs. Granted, these are random stats, that just happen to have been in the news lately, but it brings me back to that old conundrum: How is it that the red states, i.e., the most religious ones, are the ones with such poor rankings in terms of quality of life issues like divorce rates and unwed mothers and drug use (oh yeah, Oklahoma is also at the top in terms of prescription drug abuse) and so on? I’m really not trying to be “mean” here – I’m genuinely curious and would love to hear a reasonable explanation from one of my red state friends as to why they think this is? And I know the marijuana virulence leads to the increased incarceration ratio, which all gobbles up tremendous taxpayer dollars – but they want to keep spending their money there and NOT for food stamps for an unwed mother whose boyfriend/husband was put in jail for selling dope? Nope, but they’ll pay to support HIM in prison. I mean, seriously – I don’t get it. Then all the cops busting kids for pot can work on those meth labs—in other words, a real problem, not a made up one (“Ugh! Pot bad!”).

Again, why are the reddest of religious states also the states with the poorest quality of life rankings? Do I have to just take that fount of wisdom Brad Pitt’s explanation? In discussing growing up in Oklahoma, Brad said something along the lines of one reason he was glad to get away is that “people in Oklahoma don’t like to talk in depth, or critically, about anything. There’s no intellectual curiosity, no willingness to share or discuss views on things.” Pretty bad when you’ve got one of them there Hollywood elites talking smack about you! But what does Brad know, my family would say, since he foolishly threw over that charming and wonderful Jennifer Anniston for the man-stealing bitch Angelina Jolie? :)