So I'm watching this funky documentary called “The King of Kong: Fistful of Quarters.” Basically, it follows the “classic” gamer nerds fighting over world records for games like Donkey Kong, Centipede, Pac Man, etc.
“Respected Gamer” – is that a contradiction in terms? “Sanctioned gamer location?” On the one hand, it’s hard to not dismiss these guys as nerdish freaks, but are they any worse than guys who run around chasing or hitting or throwing or catching some kind of ball?
This one guy is a classic example of the freakish underbelly that exists in America. I mean, “Gnarly piece of poontang?” Gross! This guy is a freak!
OMG, this 80-year-old woman is trying to set a record on Q*Bert! Q*Bert!
So “Funspot” in New Hampshire—New Hampshire—is THE place for competitive classic gaming. The old woman comes from Florida, this doc protagonist from Seattle comes out to “prove” he’s the Donkey Kong champ (he beat Billy’s 1982 record, but only coz he was manipulated into using a doctored board by the freakish “poontang” guy who hates the “true” world record holder, Billy, who also has the distinction of a “perfect” Pac Man score wherein he got the most points you can get possibly get, got through all 250+ screens, and did it without losing a man!).
Oooh, this challenger (Steve) is about to get to the Donkey Kong “kill screen” – only 2 people have ever done it! This nerd is going around Funspot screeching that “There’s a potential Donkey Kong kill screen coming up! There’s a potential Donkey Kong kill screen coming up!”
Oooh, he got it! Steve Wiebe broke Billy Mitchell’s 20+ year old record on Donkey Kong!
But wait, Billy has sent a video with his 80-year-old Q*Bert mule that shows him getting a score of…..wait for it…..OMG, ONE MILLION and 42,000 something points! It’s chaos! It’s a nerd clap-a-thon!
The little bitch kept this just in case someone beat his record! Snap!
I have to say, tho, that, honestly, there is not a single “stud”/attractive guy among the gamer nerds—they all look like....well, nerds. Billy actually doesn’t look TOO nerdy—more 70ish Doobie Brothers.
“Glitch abuse?” LMAO
Oooh, Billy’s getting slammed by Steve for always being a “proponent” of live performance records, and yet he sends a tape in of a private game to take “his” record back from Steve who is actually in TEARS over the tragedy.
9 months later, Steve says he’s gotten over the “controversy,” but he still cries when he talks about it. This is sad on several levels.
How sad/cute—the “official scorekeeper” for 25 years at Twin Galaxies just crowed over how the documentary makers were there to see “Twin Galaxies make history” by being included in the Guinness Book of World Records – they will include the top scores in their 2007 edition!
So it’s game on for Steve to challenge Billy for a LIVE head-to-head competition before the publication deadline. And Steve is trash talking! This is so exciting!
Ha! They’re comparing the Billy/Steve rivalry to Yankees/Red Sox, Maris/Mantle, and Heckle & Jeckle. Okay, I’ll give them the last one!
Oooh, Steve ain’t crying anymore—he’s calling Billy on the phone and basically calling him a pussy if he doesn’t show up at Funspot! Snap!
Ha again! Steve’s 12-year-old daughter notes that some people “ruin their lives” to get in Guinness.
Frogger! I used to LOVE Frogger! And Joust and Tron and…oh god, SueLin, what was the one we played where you spun a dial to shoot spikes and things coming out of the center? Tempest? Oooh, and Tapper! I loved that! I have to go to Funspot! :)
Fun/weird aspect of the doc: Steve’s wife totally reminds me of my friend Jill!
Okay, I’m now officially tired of the Donkey Kong sound effects.
Billy is being a wuss and not coming to do the “live” challenge – Steve disciples and Billy disciples are ripping each other to shreds; I gotta side with Steve, tho, for at least playing in the “pressure packed public arena.”
The back and forth trash talking is even better than what happens before OU-Texas! But poor Steve is starting to crack under the pressure of playing 2½ hour games for 3 days running.
Oh man, Steve’s last start/chance to set the record! Billy is still being a pussy and not competing.
Oh no, Steve lost a man!
Oh no, he’s lost another, but he’s up to 714,000 points!
Did he win?
Do you really care?
His wife is crying – is it tears of joy or sadness?
I can’t believe this doc made me care about these guys! And Guinness and Steve and Billy!
Oh, and there was a twist ending!
Word!
Gasp! And a “The Saga Continues” segment on the special features! And even that update only takes us to the Fall of 2007 – gotta go (rushing to Google)
P.S. PONG! The first video game I (and no doubt tons of others) ever played!
3/17/10
3/8/10
I Am Angry, and I'm Not the Only One!
Because this so beautifully sums up my own thoughts and feelings, I am "cheating" on my blog entry this week by sharing the following below, entitled "I Am Angry," by John Cory, of Reader Supported News:
06 March 2010
I am angry.
I'm tired of pundits and know-nothing media gasbags. I'm tired of snarky "inside politics" programming. I am sick of the bigotry and hatred of "birthers" and faux patriotic cranks and their GOP puppet masters. And I'm really pissed at the Democratic Party that confuses having a plate of limp noodles with having a spine.
I'm going to vomit if I hear the word "bipartisanship" one more time.
It was "bipartisanship" that gave us this activist conservative Supreme Court. A Supreme Court that says money is free speech and corporations are persons except when real people try to hold them accountable for their greed and poisonous ways.
"Bipartisanship" gave us the Patriot Act and FISA and illegal wiretaps and two wars and "free speech zones" and "no fly" lists. God bless bipartisan America.
I get nauseated every time the Senate explains how it takes a super majority to do anything for the American people. Tell you what Senate Bozos, if it takes 60 votes to pass legislation than it should take 60% of the popular vote to get you elected.
When some Tea Party crank says, "I want my country back," I respond, "No madam, you want your country backward."
When a deficit-mongering politician says, "How do we pay for this?" Why not ask, "What did you Republicans do with the surplus we Democrats left you?"
When a compassionate conservative says, "Healthcare reform is socialism," why not answer, "No, sir it is the moral and American way to care for people."
Yes, I can hear it now: "You are naïve and simplistic. These are complicated matters and require sophisticated solutions. Democrats are a big tent and strive for balance. But Republicans block our path at every turn. We are thinking and considering new ways to work in harmony with everyone."
Bite me.
The only thing you get with "harmony" is a Barbershop Quartet.
Democrats stop being Republican Lite. Stop whining about that mean GOP and their nasty messaging. Grow a pair, get a message, get a bumper sticker and hang it out there. Get some strong vivid talking points.
G-O-P = Greed Over People.
Greed Kills - jobs, people and the economy.
Terrorism is Viagra for Republicans: The more fear - the more excited they get.
When a soldier dies for America, who dares ask if they were gay or straight?
Don't act so shocked, Democratic Party. Have you looked around lately?
You're losing the young vote that showed up to elect Obama. You're losing those old enough to remember real Democrats. Why? Because you don't talk to them any more than you talk to me. You talk at me. You talk around me. You talk down to me. You talk about me. You don't talk with me. And you don't inspire and you don't champion and without that you are nothing more than an arbitrator of compromise and abdication.
You are facing a bully. Deal with it!
Republicans want the country backwards. They champion superstition over science because it entrenches ignorance and bigotry and captures the easily frightened.
Republicans treat the Constitution the way they treat the Bible, with selective interpretation and selective application to others while exempting themselves from judgment and accountability.
Republicans preach the gospel of fear because fear is darkness and darkness covers their theft of civil liberties and Constitutional principles.
For thirty years the Republican Party has claimed the mantel of law and order but now quake in dread of the American judicial system when putting terrorists on trial. How criminal is that?
Torture is illegal. Period. John Wayne and Jack Bauer were not our Founding Fathers - only in the make-believe world of Republican drugstore-patriots.
DADT needs to be repealed. Now. It is unconscionable, immoral, and disgusting.
Empathy, compassion and equality are not pejoratives. They are American values proven again and again throughout our history.
Republicans believe that bake-sales and cookies for chemotherapy best determine the value of life and healthcare because life is a pre-existing condition and the "free market" should not have to take on such a high risk - after all, no one gets out alive, so why should the corporation be left holding the bag? Unless of course the price is right.
Republicans believe that government should keep its hands off healthcare but should put its hands inside a woman's body.
Republicans believe in small government - small enough to hold the "right" people and small enough to be owned and operated by the "right" people. And who are the "right" people? Them. Not you.
Democratic Party, DNC, DLCC, DSCC or whatever your acronym - I have only one question for you: Really?
You can't win against these guys? You can't get your message out against these guys? You can't give America leadership against these guys?
Really?
06 March 2010
I am angry.
I'm tired of pundits and know-nothing media gasbags. I'm tired of snarky "inside politics" programming. I am sick of the bigotry and hatred of "birthers" and faux patriotic cranks and their GOP puppet masters. And I'm really pissed at the Democratic Party that confuses having a plate of limp noodles with having a spine.
I'm going to vomit if I hear the word "bipartisanship" one more time.
It was "bipartisanship" that gave us this activist conservative Supreme Court. A Supreme Court that says money is free speech and corporations are persons except when real people try to hold them accountable for their greed and poisonous ways.
"Bipartisanship" gave us the Patriot Act and FISA and illegal wiretaps and two wars and "free speech zones" and "no fly" lists. God bless bipartisan America.
I get nauseated every time the Senate explains how it takes a super majority to do anything for the American people. Tell you what Senate Bozos, if it takes 60 votes to pass legislation than it should take 60% of the popular vote to get you elected.
When some Tea Party crank says, "I want my country back," I respond, "No madam, you want your country backward."
When a deficit-mongering politician says, "How do we pay for this?" Why not ask, "What did you Republicans do with the surplus we Democrats left you?"
When a compassionate conservative says, "Healthcare reform is socialism," why not answer, "No, sir it is the moral and American way to care for people."
Yes, I can hear it now: "You are naïve and simplistic. These are complicated matters and require sophisticated solutions. Democrats are a big tent and strive for balance. But Republicans block our path at every turn. We are thinking and considering new ways to work in harmony with everyone."
Bite me.
The only thing you get with "harmony" is a Barbershop Quartet.
Democrats stop being Republican Lite. Stop whining about that mean GOP and their nasty messaging. Grow a pair, get a message, get a bumper sticker and hang it out there. Get some strong vivid talking points.
G-O-P = Greed Over People.
Greed Kills - jobs, people and the economy.
Terrorism is Viagra for Republicans: The more fear - the more excited they get.
When a soldier dies for America, who dares ask if they were gay or straight?
Don't act so shocked, Democratic Party. Have you looked around lately?
You're losing the young vote that showed up to elect Obama. You're losing those old enough to remember real Democrats. Why? Because you don't talk to them any more than you talk to me. You talk at me. You talk around me. You talk down to me. You talk about me. You don't talk with me. And you don't inspire and you don't champion and without that you are nothing more than an arbitrator of compromise and abdication.
You are facing a bully. Deal with it!
Republicans want the country backwards. They champion superstition over science because it entrenches ignorance and bigotry and captures the easily frightened.
Republicans treat the Constitution the way they treat the Bible, with selective interpretation and selective application to others while exempting themselves from judgment and accountability.
Republicans preach the gospel of fear because fear is darkness and darkness covers their theft of civil liberties and Constitutional principles.
For thirty years the Republican Party has claimed the mantel of law and order but now quake in dread of the American judicial system when putting terrorists on trial. How criminal is that?
Torture is illegal. Period. John Wayne and Jack Bauer were not our Founding Fathers - only in the make-believe world of Republican drugstore-patriots.
DADT needs to be repealed. Now. It is unconscionable, immoral, and disgusting.
Empathy, compassion and equality are not pejoratives. They are American values proven again and again throughout our history.
Republicans believe that bake-sales and cookies for chemotherapy best determine the value of life and healthcare because life is a pre-existing condition and the "free market" should not have to take on such a high risk - after all, no one gets out alive, so why should the corporation be left holding the bag? Unless of course the price is right.
Republicans believe that government should keep its hands off healthcare but should put its hands inside a woman's body.
Republicans believe in small government - small enough to hold the "right" people and small enough to be owned and operated by the "right" people. And who are the "right" people? Them. Not you.
Democratic Party, DNC, DLCC, DSCC or whatever your acronym - I have only one question for you: Really?
You can't win against these guys? You can't get your message out against these guys? You can't give America leadership against these guys?
Really?
3/3/10
Economic Epiphany & A Solution to Our Woes
So I had this little epiphany the other day that made me just LAUGH—and, amazingly, it was an economic epiphany, and I HATE economics. For real. But of course it’s the true U.S. religion, so I still have to think about it.
Almost constantly.
I mean, seriously, think about how very much time you spend thinking about money: having it or not having it, bills, The Economy, health care costs (coz, amazingly, STILL, the U.S. considers health care a commodity and not a right—thanks for sticking to your guns on that, Barack!), taxes, moneymoneymoney.
ANYWAY, what I realized—which probably most people figured out long before I just did—is that the United States is now officially “too big to fail.” I keep hearing about the TRILLIONS of dollars the Chinese are holding in U.S. Bonds, and blah blah blah they could call them in and wreck our economy omg omg omg, what are we going to….ooooh, Lost is on!
But of course our Chinese Overlords don’t gain by wrecking our economy because of the TREMENDOUS trade deficit we have with them already. It’s like giving up owning us now AND later just to own a wrecked shell of us immediately? Pffft. We all know how patient they are. Aesop tried to warn us, but noooo…
As a matter of fact, the Chinese only have to worry if we continue to flounder much longer, or just start circling the drain on our own—then they have to decide if/when to intervene. In a way, it’s kind of exciting to be on the other end of this story we so often have wrought on others.
But for TRUE irony, say that, somehow, in some quasi-subservient economic colony way, we come under the rule of the Chinese. Communist China. You remember Communism? That wretchedly botched experiment that certainly didn’t end up anything like “true” Communism that we “defeated” in 1989ish?
Could they get the last laugh?
That’s why I say we dismantle the current governing structure and set up a loose confederation of nation-states that allows for more true diversity of governments, policies, etc., and provides for a happier populace as each area is governed by “their own kind.”
I’m thinking something like Hawaii, Alaska, California and Texas (and possibly Florida) each become nations, with the South, New England, the Great Lakes Region, the Mountains/Plains and the Pacific Northwest making up the rest.
I don’t see this as “destroying” the “union.” I see this as restoring sanity to a system and a citizenry gone mad; as a way for people to feel more vested in their government; and yes, a way to eventually escape the fate of all other over-large empires before us.
So how do I start one of those petitiony things? :)
Almost constantly.
I mean, seriously, think about how very much time you spend thinking about money: having it or not having it, bills, The Economy, health care costs (coz, amazingly, STILL, the U.S. considers health care a commodity and not a right—thanks for sticking to your guns on that, Barack!), taxes, moneymoneymoney.
ANYWAY, what I realized—which probably most people figured out long before I just did—is that the United States is now officially “too big to fail.” I keep hearing about the TRILLIONS of dollars the Chinese are holding in U.S. Bonds, and blah blah blah they could call them in and wreck our economy omg omg omg, what are we going to….ooooh, Lost is on!
But of course our Chinese Overlords don’t gain by wrecking our economy because of the TREMENDOUS trade deficit we have with them already. It’s like giving up owning us now AND later just to own a wrecked shell of us immediately? Pffft. We all know how patient they are. Aesop tried to warn us, but noooo…
As a matter of fact, the Chinese only have to worry if we continue to flounder much longer, or just start circling the drain on our own—then they have to decide if/when to intervene. In a way, it’s kind of exciting to be on the other end of this story we so often have wrought on others.
But for TRUE irony, say that, somehow, in some quasi-subservient economic colony way, we come under the rule of the Chinese. Communist China. You remember Communism? That wretchedly botched experiment that certainly didn’t end up anything like “true” Communism that we “defeated” in 1989ish?
Could they get the last laugh?
That’s why I say we dismantle the current governing structure and set up a loose confederation of nation-states that allows for more true diversity of governments, policies, etc., and provides for a happier populace as each area is governed by “their own kind.”
I’m thinking something like Hawaii, Alaska, California and Texas (and possibly Florida) each become nations, with the South, New England, the Great Lakes Region, the Mountains/Plains and the Pacific Northwest making up the rest.
I don’t see this as “destroying” the “union.” I see this as restoring sanity to a system and a citizenry gone mad; as a way for people to feel more vested in their government; and yes, a way to eventually escape the fate of all other over-large empires before us.
So how do I start one of those petitiony things? :)
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