Reflections on China

I went for a Sunday breakfast at this place called “Spur Steak Ranches” – a Native American-themed South African chain down the street in the Pioneer Mall (it’s like I’m living in the Old West!).  My booth was adjacent to one with a trio of Chinese ex-pats and we both had the same waiter – a very polite young man that provided good service (the service here in the restaurants has so far been very good).  After making a total mess of their table, getting a doggie bag (Really? Who takes home leftovers from breakfast?), etc., they completely stiffed the waiter.  He was clearly shocked and actually called them out to see if maybe they’d forgotten – he wasn’t mean or aggressive about it, more like shocked and hurt.  Of course the Chinese guy he was following away from their booth just gave him an incredibly smug and condescending smile, while digging in his teeth with a toothpick – making NO attempt to be discreet about it, either, of course.

Boy did that take me back! And upon reflection, it’s nearly impossible for me to convey in words the contempt I feel for the Chinese (in China) on a macro level after living among them.  Yes, most of the people I worked with at Disney were okay, but they themselves will admit they are “different.”  And yes, there are assholes in America, too – a lot of them.  But, again, on a macro level – on a “per capita” basis – the (mainland) Chinese are rude, selfish, disgustingly uncouth and often appallingly unhygienic, arrogant, savage, clueless, mean-spirited, selfish, hateful, inconsiderate, racist, and xenophobic, I could go on and on.  It reminds me of the line in “Gone With The Wind” when Scarlett O’Hara laments, “Oh, I just can’t think of anything bad enough to call you!”  And if you think I’m exaggerating, I could give you person after person after person who will back me up – and not just other Americans.

Multiple people have now told me (and not just Disney English folks or Westerners that I met while living there) they didn’t like the kind of person they were turning into after spending much time around the Chinese. And what makes it all ten times worse is their laughable arrogance.  They genuinely believe they are a “superior” people.  And while that may have been true several hundred years ago, it’s not even close to being true today – and not by a long shot  (Of course, America is certainly not close to being a “superior” country/civilization itself, so it’s not like I’m trying to slam another country to build “my own” up).  Granted, said arrogance comes from their parochialism and cluelessness--but living amongst them, experiencing the appalling level of their overall assholery and savagery, it is just that much more horrible to experience when they are SO unaware of the sheer scope of their douchebaggery. Or incompetence. The banks, postal system, etc. are all laughably inefficient and seem to be run by morons. There’s an almost comic “am I being punked?” paranoia, inefficiency, and bureaucracy. And don’t get me started on their shoddy construction!

And if you think I’m being unduly harsh, note: even other Chinese feel the same way!  Go to Hong Kong and talk to the Chinese there and they will sniff disdainfully when discussing “mainlanders.”  Ditto for Taiwan.  My friend Bex stayed with a Chinese family during a trip to Hong Kong and mentioned she had a 2-bedroom apartment if they ever wanted a place to stay in Guangzhou.  They looked at her as if she was insane and basically said, “Oh, ewww, we don’t go to the mainland!”  While on the one hand it seems silly to go through passport control between Guangzhou, China and Hong Kong, China, it really IS like a different country.  No smell.  Efficient.  Clean.  Etc.  Singaporeans, about 70% Chinese, are so disdainful of their mainland cousins, they won’t rent to them – finding them to be many of the things I’ve mentioned above.

And while I’m “enlightening” folks about the Chinese, let’s dispel a few myths:  Industrious and hard-working?  HA!   I mean, I thought people were “lazy” in Hawai’i – but there it really IS more about “island style” kind of living.  Just mellow and chill.  The Chinese – again, on a macro level, with exceptions that prove the rule – are not only grossly incompetent in many, many areas, but also supremely lazy. I saw people asleep there EVERYWHERE – and at every time of day.  In fact, more than one local I met, actually bragged about how lazy they are!  Seriously! You may ask, “But how do they throw up a 50 story office tower in 3 months?”  Duh, it’s easy when you put 10,000 slaves on it and have them do a half-ass job.  Almost everything is done in a shoddy manner with cut-rate materials and—apparently—zero quality control.

That old chestnut about the Chinese being a patient people?  Hahahahahahahaha.  I can only imagine this may have been the case hundreds of years ago, but, man, if you thought Americans were impatient…..the drivers will honk at you for slowing down to turn a corner. And while part of why they may push ahead of you in the food line, store, metro, elevator, cab, etc. is just because they enjoy being assholes, they just can’t be bothered to wait for ANYTHING.  One of the few “joys” I had there – and, again, tempered by the fact that they’re just such assholes – was watching when their impatience warred with their laziness.  It’s truly a satisfying sight to behold – as well as to try to antagonize.  Seriously, I totally get the folks who say they couldn’t stay longer amongst the Chinese coz they didn’t like the kind of person they were turning into.  I took malicious glee in blocking someone from trying to shove past/ahead of me to get on the Metro, would deliberately punch the “door close” button on the elevator when I saw someone entering my lobby, etc. 

And they put the group before the individual?  Don’t make me laugh! Again, I thought Americans reigned supreme when it came to a “Me first” mentality – but they are mere amateurs compared to the Chinese.  Unless you’re an immediate family member (and even that’s iffy), they would just as soon let a building full of children burn down if it meant them not getting to the front counter to get their fucking rice that very moment—in fact, they’d probably be ecstatic/think they won a prize, if people ahead of them rushed to put out the fire because then they’d get their food quicker.  Of course I’m being silly coz no Chinese person would rush to help put out a fire—hell, if one of their fellow human beings passes out on the train in front of them, they can’t get away fast enough.  Witness:

http://www.thenanfang.com/blog/foreigner-faints-on-shanghai-metro-other-passengers-run-away/

We used to have debates at DE about whether they are assholes or just stupid in a completely clueless way.  The drivers do astonishingly stupid things on a regular basis.  They genuinely don’t seem to understand how elevators work, often pushing both the up AND down buttons to (I guess?) get it to come quicker.  And then going ahead and getting on when it’s going the opposite direction (to “save a space” I suppose?) w/o even bothering to look/realize the other elevator is a couple floors away and headed in the direction they want. My building had two elevators that were constantly busy and you’d have to wait for.  But if both happened to come down to the lobby at the same time, and say about 4 individuals were waiting, they would deliberately “split up” and take both elevators to not have to ride with too many of their fellow human beings, even if it meant both elevators then working their way up 20+ floors meaning new people coming in the building would be forced to wait.  They will consistently line up straight out from a building to get lunch, completely blocking the sidewalk, rather than lining up perpendicular to said building/along the sidewalk.  Again: stupid or just asshole?  They will stand right on top of arrows at the Metro facing the other way – staring straight at signs that say don’t block the entrance, don’t push, civil ride, etc.  Despite repeated pleas in the office for the young women to quit spending 20-30 minutes at a time in the one staff toilet on their cell phones, doing their hair (when it could be done in the locker room), etc. when teachers would be trying to squeeze in a pee between classes, they would continue to do so – again: stupid or just asshole?  They will do major repairs, banging and working on their apartments from 1-5 in the morning, despite repeated pleas to be quiet.  Again, I could go on and on. 

Obviously, no country is perfect.  I mean, can an American really judge any other country considering, for example, our own horrific prison system?  Or the endemic racism?  The out-of-control cops.  The outrageous violence and constant killing.  The continued welfare billions for huge corporate farms while cutting food stamps.  “Standing your ground” against black kids or Alzheimer’s victims.  The fact that the Iraq war could have fully funded social security.  The stupid media obsessions with things like that asshole on Duck Dynasty or Obama taking a selfie.  Although I didn’t spend a LOT of time there, my sense is the Nordic countries are the ones doing it “right” – on the whole. And I’ll certainly be curious to see how Lesotho “stacks up” considering its own challenges.  But at the end of the day, I’m definitely glad to be out of China – and, considering the continued implosion, not too unhappy about being out of the states, as well.

Coups, and Okies, and Movies, oh my!

The one movie theater in town closed!  L  Talk about a bummer – I was more upset about this than the so-called “coup.”  That was going to be my weekly “culture.”  As it is, I only got in two weekends before it shut down – catching “Guardians of the Galaxy” (my 2^nd viewing after seeing it in Hong Kong) and then the latest “Step Up” movie which I would otherwise not bother with if there had been any other decent options (as it was, “Step Up” had its moments).  Unclear as to if they closed due to poor business or were sort-of-forced to vacate to make room for more/other shops.  Said theater was located in the Pioneer Mall which is one of THE social outlets in exciting Maseru!

Here’s the most amazing thing about the recent/current “instability.”  For that week when the police basically stepped off the job/quit working/went into hiding, the city did not dissolve into complete anarchy.  Think about it: if a similar-sized city in America (e.g., Buffalo, Lubbock, Reno, Baton Rouge) suddenly found themselves with NO operating police force – and everyone knew it – can you even imagine the chaos?  The looting?  The crime?  That’s why I was so amazed to see Maseru appear in that list I recently posted on FB for the world’s most dangerous cities.  I think the local populace is to be commended for the fact that the malls and shops are still standing “un-looted,” that the city wasn’t burnt to the ground, etc.  Amazing.

Anyway, despite Lesotho’s current “challenges,” at least they’re not as effed up and evil about their visa policies.  One of our volunteers, for a variety of personal reasons, decided to overstay her 7-day S. Africa visa and was detained trying to return to Lesotho.  Worse yet, said volunteer had not even notified post she was going to S. Africa, so the surprise was on us!  As punishment, said volunteer has been banned from S. Africa for two years.  The problem with this is she has since resigned, but is unable to leave the country because S. Africa won’t even let her fly through!  And EVERY flight from Lesotho goes through S. Africa – specifically, “Joburg” (i.e., Joahannesburg).  Now, granted, this volunteer brought this on herself by being so dumb, but honestly, S. Africa is incredibly lame for forcing people to even go through immigration in Joburg for flights that are coming from Lesotho folks going on to other Int’l destinations.  I’ve been in a fair number of airports travelling internationally, connecting from one country to another – including a flight from China to Denmark that connected in Moscow – and didn’t have to deal with the hassle of immigration en route.  I mean, I know S. Africa is a beautiful country, and has many “advantages” over some of their African neighbors, but seriously, guys, grow up.  There are MANY easier ways – MANY – to try and sneak into the country than through a connecting int’l flight in the Joburg airport. 

Speaking of Joburg, Peace Corps Lesotho currently prohibits volunteers from even staying there – deeming it too violent.  It’s the only city in S. Africa that is prohibited – hmmm, I wonder if this stricture was put in place once Doreen got there and stirred shit up?  Confess, Doreen!  J  I’ll probably talk more about this in a later post, but for those who feel Peace Corps doesn’t do enough to protect volunteers, I’m at a loss to know what more they could do.  Remember when I said it was “strongly suggested” to me to not walk at night here in Maseru?  Well, in the PC Lesotho Volunteer Handbook, it says in bold type for any volunteers visiting/staying in Maseru:  Walking at night is prohibited. Volunteers found walking after dark will be asked to resign or will be administratively separated.  Clearly, I still have teenage boy strains running through me because I am almost – almost – tempted to go out walking at night just to see how scary it is!  J  In fact, just the other night, with the country supposedly still on pins & needles awaiting the capture of the rogue general, I heard what sounded like a pretty serious street party going on right near my hotel.  I seriously wanted to creep out into the forbidden darkness just to see what was what.  As it was, I contented myself with slipping out of my hotel flat, and creeping near the hotel wall just to listen.  Yes, that’s what passes for excitement for me here now.

Speaking of excitement, I actually met an Okie here in Maseru!  Dude works for an NGO working to end human trafficking.  For my local okie readers, you’ll know the coolness of this: He actually went to high school with Sam!  Oooooh!  J  We both squealed over the upcoming football season and then (he more than I) went on a bit about “the Thunder.”  It’s truly a small world.  Apparently, this org was started by a group of ORU grads (that’s Oral Roberts University for you not-in-the-know-non-Okies), so there’s actually a couple of them here.

THEN, just this past weekend, at an Embassy BBQ welcoming the new Charge d’Affaires, I discovered that the Ambassador’s Executive Secretary is ALSO from Oklahoma.  She’s quite the saucily entertaining thing, as well. When she – and the rest of the group - heard I’d spent most of my “growing up” years in Oklahoma, we all swapped “It’s a Small World” stories – alas, without singing the song.

I’ve just started “dipping my toe” into learning the language.  One of my biggest regrets is that I am NOT a natural when it comes to picking up languages.  Not counting English, I have now studied seven different languages and could not speak any of them well enough outside of how to direct a taxi driver in Mandarin and speak just enough Russian to entertain folks who don’t speak it at all.

So far, in Sotho, I can say Hello, Thanks, Sir, and Ma’am.  The latter two are critically important, as everyone uses them in speaking to everyone else.  Additionally, luckily, while learning to pronounce some of the difficult (for me) names, it is quite acceptable and normal to just simply refer to women as ‘M’e (pronounced may, meaning ma’am) and Ntate (pronounced en-tot-ay, meaning sir).  Hello is spelled Lumela, but pronounced Dumela (of course!), and thank you is Kea Leboha. Luckily, the vast majority of the population speaks English anyway, but I’m still going to give learning the language the old college try.

Folks are very polite here—it’s the complete opposite of China—and many will greet you on the street, “Hello, Ntate!”  With some exceptions, restaurant service is the best I’ve experienced in the world.  Attentive without being overbearing, watchful for when you need something without hovering or pestering you.  I have yet to have had occasion to leave less than the standard tip, and more often than not give more.  Store clerks are all friendly, etc.  After China, it’s like being on another planet or confronting an entirely different species.

There are two major grocery stores—and I think both might be S. African chains.  Both the Pick n Pay and the Shop-Rite have a good mix of products, with many American products, and even more quality S. African products.  The meat here is good (still haven’t found out why they call the big hot dogs “Russians” but finally just decided/assumed it’s similar to the rationale for Americans using the name “Polish Sausage”), and the only thing I’m really missing so far is Mexican food.  But I should be able to make my own (although, now that I think about it, I haven’t seen tortillas—plenty of tortilla chips/Fritos/Doritos, but no tortillas).  Luckily, there’s a mid-range steakhouse here – Spur (a S. African chain) – that serves a decent nachos, so I have that for when I’m desperate.  J

Coup Chasing!

So apparently I’m a “coup magnet.”  Thailand, Lesotho – they just follow me wherever I go. Although the Thai coup happened before I got there – so in that case, I guess I was a “coup chaser.”  Politics in Lesotho are, obviously, quite interesting right now.  The current Prime Minister got the King to let him suspend Parliament – which is actually an option written into the Lesotho Constitution – for 9 months because he feared they would give him a vote of “no confidence” and force his ouster.

The Deputy Prime Minister, from another political party, of course wants Parliament back in session, so he called for a “peaceful demonstration”/march for Monday (while you lazy Americans have the day off for Labor Day).  But, apparently, some folks couldn’t wait for the fun to start, and got the ball rolling early Saturday morning when the Lesotho Army decided to surround the main Police Headquarters (the former supports the DPM while the latter support the PM).  Anyway, life goes on in most of the capital, and after getting my “Embassy alert” and chatting with the other Peace Corps managers, I still went to the mall for breakfast and sheer curiosity Saturday morning.  And all I saw was everyone going about their regular lives.  Even though the main police stations is like 4-5 blocks away.

If things get too hairy, I guess the Lesotho air force will have to deploy their ONE helicopter – but that’s assuming it’s actually in working order AND they have the paraffin needed to get it in the air.  Seriously, I couldn’t make that up!

But to be honest, I was much more excited about the brief hailstorm we had last week when I went to the Embassy for a meeting.  My PC driver wouldn’t let me get out of the car as it started hailing just as we pulled up to the building where the meeting was.  The hail was about marble size (shooter marbles) and came down long enough to pretty much completely cover the ground.  Not only was I enthralled, but one of the Embassy employees came out to stand under the eave and take pictures – cheerily waving at me in the car.  I have to admit, it’s kinda cool living in a place with “real” weather – shades of Oklahoma!

UPDATE ON THE “COUP”: So the PM fled the country after the “attempted coup” by the military – which they deny was a coup even though if ANYONE is running the country right now it’s the military.  he “top cop” was killed and the army stormed and/or surrounded various police stations, scaring off all the high ranking officers who followed the PM to S. Africa.  The rest of the police pretty much disbanded so they wouldn’t get taken out by the military – although some officers are supposedly working as “plainclothes” police.

The Monday march was cancelled, who knows why, but maybe because no one is really in charge.  The Deputy PM went to S. Africa to engage in talks led by the S.A. President.  Although he is not trusted since it was his political minion, the current (kind of) head of the military who launched this latest brouhaha by refusing to step down upon order of the King and Prime Minister.  Their replacement tried to take his office/duties, and was promptly shot at, so HE fled the country, too. 

While it has remained relatively quiet in the capital (beyond the army’s threatening of the police), there has been a real concern amongst locals, the Embassy/State Dept., etc. that things could devolve very quickly – particularly since there are no police.  i.e., what’s to stop someone from just going to the mall and robbing it? 

SO, the “core staff” got called in to the office on our Labor Day holiday to strategize.  After discussion, and after being notified that the Embassy evacuated all family members of State Dept. employees, we called all volunteers to be on “Standfast” which means they could go about their work, but not to leave their villages, not to travel, etc.  After more back and forth, some posturing from the Lesotho PM who asked the S. African military to come and restore order (and him to office, of course), and a conference call with PC HQ in DC (dig those acronyms!), we decided to go ahead and move to the next stage and “consolidate” all volunteers.  This basically means they all leave their villages to a pre-determined meeting point/hotel so they will be all together in just 4-5 groups – all near the border for quicker/easier evacuation, if necessary.

So then we had to call them all to give them that directive to go to their consolidation point first thing in the morning.  At the end of the day, my “Labor Day Holiday” actually consisted of a 13-hour day at the office!  “Yay!”

The Embassy also “strongly suggested” that me and the other 2 Americans staying at the same hotel with me move to a “secure” private residence.  (I haven’t yet moved into my house because the guy I’m replacing still has one more week here).  I passed on that for now, but we’ll see how things go.

So that’s where things stand right now.  I have to say, although I am basing this purely on my own gut since I’ve only been in the country for 3 weeks, I’m not really that concerned.  The sense I get is that a lot of these guys are just “playing war” – although there is, of course, a genuine power struggle going on.  I could be wrong, but my wild guess is that, at worst, the S. African (or, technically, SADC) forces will come in to make sure things don’t get nasty, the PM will return and he will either be forced to recall Parliament, or not with the understanding that new elections will be held at the end of the 9 month suspension (which is the limit the Parliament can be suspended according to the Constitution).  Of, course, I guess it’s also possible things could devolve very quickly, anarchy will ensue, and this will be the last post you’ll ever see from me.  ;)