Guangzhou Diary VIII

In China, whenever you need tissues, just go buy some Sprite.  In one of their strange marketing bundles, they will often pair up a packet of tissues with a 1.5 or 2 liter bottle of Sprite. Or Pepsi, Miranda, etc.  They’ll also often throw in a box of tissues with a 10 or 12 pack of Moon Pies (or the Chinese version of Moon Pies, that is).  Thus, I’ve never had to buy tissues on their own.  The bundles with Sprite, Miranda, Pepsi, etc. are actually fairly diverse.  Besides tissues, they’ll often throw in a pack of 5-6 paper cups; or a plastic or glass larger drinking cup; or a varied-size bottle of some kind of juice.

Speaking of tissues, for some reason most folks – and most all restaurants – will use them in place of napkins.  Fast food places – both the Western and local ones – will generally still use napkins, but in any sit down restaurant, and even among the locals at work, they will often use tissue and/or toilet paper.  Frankly, I don’t understand it at all; you need to use significantly more tissue when using it as a napkin as it is much less durable.  It just seems wasteful.  Not to mention that any decent, even borderline lower end, restaurant will give each patron a little folded over, small wallet-looking plastic thing with anywhere from 4-8 tissues in it to use with your meal. 

I continue to struggle with “culture value judgments” – that is, trying to rationalize in my mind that some of the judgments I make are “objectively correct,” when, in fact, they may simply be different cultural touchstones.  However, I’m still arrogant enough (hello, American cultural touchstone!), to believe some of the things I’m bothered by here are, indeed, objectively, “bad.”  Some are harder to rationalize.  I leave my readers to be the judge.  Here are the three biggies:

1)      The astonishing selfishness and “asshole” type behavior.  I feel pretty safe in judging this as objectively “bad” – even though it may, in fact, be culturally based.  The way they push and fight (and I mean FIGHT) to get on the subway/elevator/taxi first, the way they cut in line despite the LOCALLY-based public postings to not do so/to be “civil,” etc.  A good example of asshole behavior is an intersection near my apartment.  I live on a fairly large/busy avenue.  At the intersections, there are four lanes; some are specifically designated “straight” lanes – usually two in the middle – with one designated right turn lane and one designated left turn lane.  I’ve lost count of the number of times some asshole, who is going straight, decides he shouldn’t have to wait in one of the middle lanes with a longer line, and will get in the right turn lane to get to the front and just sit there, despite the right on green arrow (while the other two straight lanes are stopped).  He/she will sit there through all the honking horns behind, waiting for the straight arrow, so (s)he can then shoot out in the intersection ahead of the cars to his/her left.

2)      The public hawking, urination, and yes, albeit (thankfully) only occasionally, shitting.  Again, I feel safe in objectively labeling this as “bad” – I don’t even feel I need to justify this.  Yes, again, you can look at this as a cultural thing, but in my mind, there’s no excuse to justify this type of behavior in the year 2013.  You’d have to be THE most shut away ignoramus to not know by now that not only is this despicably socially unacceptable, but also violently unsanitary.  Sure, go ahead and blame the fucking birds and pigs for all the diseases that originate in China, but let’s not kid ourselves: your disgusting habits of relieving yourself in public is a key contributor to the lower health standards here.  What makes this particular thing even more appalling is their smug insistence regarding what they “KNOW” to be “right” in terms of healthy activities and things to avoid.  Seriously, don’t make me laugh.

3)      I saved this one for last because I admit that, as much as it bothers me, it is the one most open to “subjectivity.”  And this is their disgusting habit of chomping and slobbering their food, like a cow chewing cud, as well as their habit of eating small (or even fairly large) chunks of meat with bones in them, grinding away on said meat, and then oh-so-indelicately spitting out the bone next to their plate – sometimes on a napkin, sometimes not – or sometimes even ON their plate.  Yes, I’ve heard their rationalization that eating this way makes food “more flavorful” (sorry, I’ve tried it for that reason, and it’s bullshit – in fact, I’ve found it to be the opposite: how can inhaling polluted air along with your food make it taste better as opposed to “trapping” the flavors in your mouth with your taste buds?), and/or that loudly “enjoying” your food is supposed to be a way to show your “appreciation” to the cook.  Really?  Would that be the cook in the kitchen who can’t hear you?  The “cook” at the fast food place 3, 4, 12 blocks away who made your food?  And here’s a news flash for you: there is a much more civilized way to you’re your appreciation for your food: SAY SOMETHING about it.  After you’ve chewed and swallowed your food, that is!  Again, I admit this one is borderline and could be considered a cultural thing I’m too “judgmental” about, but honestly, in this day and age, how can you justify this type of uncouth behavior?  I welcome arguments on this one!  J

In other news, I finally went and had a night of “significant” clubbing with some folks from work.  Because of holidays and a schedule for us that included some “in-service days,” 4 of us had a Saturday off and I decided to join them for a Friday night of bar-hopping.  2 Bacardi Breezers, 4 Vodka/Red Bulls, 3 Green Fairy shooters, one Mojito, and one Mango Daquiri later, it was 6am and I felt I’d finally gotten a taste of the Guangzhou nightlife.  It was fun.  Partly due to the combination of drinks, no doubt, and partly due to the company, but it was a nice escape. 

We started at a semi-higher-end bar in the W hotel not too far from my apartment.  Good size, nice mix of music, some pretty people to look at, etc.  The latter, admittedly, due in part to the fact  that there were a fair amount of ex-pats (“sorry,” I personally still don’t find most Asian men attractive – although there are, of course, exceptions, and even a few notable ones).  It seems that, on the whole, the Chinese are not big “clubbers.”  The ones we did see were, disproportionately, overly drunk and/or passed out and/or belligerent and/or sloppy and/or comically dressed.

Once the hotel bar closed, we moved on to the “Party Pier” – a collection of bars/clubs/

restaurants just on the other side of the river from me, and where we pinballed between 2-3 other bars/clubs until the aforementioned 6am-run-home-before-the-sun-comes-up hour.  Sufficiently drunk by this point, we met/chatted with a fair number of interesting characters – including an entertaining Algerian boy who asked about my “Jew girlfriend” (that would be my very non-Jewish, non-girlfriend Bex), and “made” me smoke a Chinese cigarette (yes, I was THAT drunk), and who demanded that Nicky show him the ways of a “mature” woman so he could learn a few things (Nicky, of course, was all too happy to oblige – although she made him stew for a couple of nights to get him revved up). 

It was interesting to see the mix of people; Guangzhou is definitely an “international” city, and I recommend it to anyone wanting to get a glimpse of “modern China” – esp. if you’re planning a trip to Hong Kong, which is just a two hour train ride away.

Coming next week: my “Jew girlfriend” is actually more frustrated by all the locals who think she’s Russian, my experiences with the Chinese medical system, and more!