I just can't stand it any more. The violence. The hate. The hypocrisy. The good people (like me) standing by and doing nothing but crying, lamenting, raging. South Carolina is the last straw. I have to do SOMETHING. Something more substantial, something more significant. I have a black nephew living in a red state and I'm terrified something bad will happen to him some day just because of the color of his skin and because he has the misfortune of living in a country that has become so consumed with hatred and acceptance of violence.
Honestly, it is hard to even put into words the frustration I feel. The pain. The rage. The sadness. The incredulity. The fear. The disgust. The shame. I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I can't do SOMETHING MORE.
I LOVE working for the Peace Corps. I love having a job that helps idealistic Americans get out into the world and try to make a difference. As "backward" and depressing as Lesotho is, I still often find myself feeling really happy here just coz I love my job and I love being around people who are doing for others. And once my gig ends here in another year +, I was hoping to take another PC gig in another country. But it's not enough anymore.
As fucked up as America is, it is my home. I LOVE America, I love the idea of how it started and what it stood for, warts and all. And, again, it's my home. I need to come home and do something to stop the sickness and the hate and the killing and the violence. I need to protect my nephew and others who are losing their lives just because ignorant racists think it's okay to kill someone of a different color.
Maybe it will take awhile, but I'm starting today to look for an organization that's doing SOMETHING to fight racism and/or violence and/or hate. It might take awhile, and I'll be honest and say I'm still enough of a realist/selfish enough to know I'm going to have to find something in a place where I can also be happy living. So I'm putting the word out to all my friends and acquaintances, to network network network and help me. I NEED to find a job with a solid organization doing good work in the areas mentioned above in any of the following cities: San Francisco, DC, L.A., New York, or Portland
It's not enough anymore to share Jon Stewart clips; to sign petitions; to rage and cry with my friends; to slam those ignorant, racist hate-filled savages; those demagogic, hypocritical, vile FOX hosts and politicians. I need to do more.
And once I'm back in the states, I am begging any and all of my friends to harangue me into doing anything else of substance you may be doing on your own: march, protest, start a movement, volunteer my non-working hours to groups that may be doing good work but can't afford to support me with a salary, etc.
And, finally, I call on anyone and everyone I know to also step up in whatever way you can. To take your own rage and frustration and sadness over these endless, horrific events and make a change, do something different, stand up for your beliefs, WALK YOUR TALK.
It may take me awhile to find a good fit, but I won't give up until I do. Because, esp. now, all I can think of is MLK's quote: "History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people."
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