Oklahoma Lives in Black & White

While I suppose I may have realized this, at least subconsciously, during the time I was growing up here, my return to Oklahoma, and the time spent here now after much more “life experience” and in comparison to other places I’ve lived, has brought a realization of, perhaps, the primary “con” I’ve discovered about living here: to most folks here, everything is black or white. There are no shades of gray. Unfortunately, an aspect of this thinking also seems to contribute to a deep lack of intellectual curiosity. Of course, at the end of the day, one could posit that such a thing is not necessarily “bad;” it simply is. It is what it is, in other words. One example: I have remarked frequently, and I feel understandably, that the weather in Oklahoma, on the whole, sucks. The summers are usually too hot and humid, the springs bring tornadoes and other destructive storms, and the winters can be icy and bitterly cold what with the wind chill. Additionally, the populace—again, in general—are very conservative, deeply religious, and racist/intolerant. But when I point these things out, or whine about them rather, then it’s decided that I hate every single thing and every single person in the state. It doesn’t matter that I can appreciate the fall seasons here, enjoy the football culture, love (most of) my family, and like many of the people. Because I point out the bad things, I’m evil and dismissive of everything. The reason they assume that, however, is because that is how most of them are. For example: if someone here has a bad experience with a person or entity, then anything related to that experience automatically puts any future similar experiences into the same category—before “new” folks even have had a chance to prove otherwise. A black person is using food stamps at the store? Well, then ALL black people are welfare leeches. Someone borrows money from you and doesn’t pay you back? Well, then everyone is a thief and you shouldn’t loan money to anyone. I don’t know if it’s laziness or what, but it’s like people find it much easier to lump whole groups of people or actions together, based on one or two experiences, rather than take the time to critically analyze whether or not someone you know might need to be treated differently, or given some leeway, even tho other “similar” folks they’ve dealt with did X or didn’t do Y or whatever. And god forbid you act “differently” or out of the norm. Then you’re just flat out crazy and/or can’t be trusted. I know a lot of this has to do with the lack of diversity here, and limited experiences for most folks to a wide range of people and circumstances. But what makes it particularly appalling and hard to swallow is the pervasive “Christianity.” Church attendance is high, there’s still a “religion” section in the newspapers, people bleat out religious phrasing in signs on their lawns, in notices celebrating graduations and what not, all over Facebook, etc. And yet, the attitudes and interactions are strictly OLD testament; the hypocrisy is appalling. People are nice to your face, but rip you to shreds behind your back. There’s a general stinginess and selfishness here. And so on. What’s wild is that it’s very reminiscent of my time in Kazakhstan. When I was there, they were still “suffering” from the lingering effects of Communism. Folks there were awful about putting you in a category and leaving you there. It didn’t matter how you tried, if it was decided you were a “hooligan,” then by god you were a hooligan; and it wasn’t because of anything you’d done, it was because your father and/or mother were that way, or because someone just like you was that way, or you had done something once that was considered “bad,” and so that’s it. You’re bad. They explained silly and outlandish customs as “tradition,” and didn’t bother to think things could be done differently, or more effectively. And, like here, if you stood out, acted differently, didn’t follow their “rules,” then you were considered silly or crazy or not to be trusted. And of course it’s much better to lie to someone and be “nice” rather than to be honest. Seriously? Most people here honestly seem to think that if you disagree with something someone does or says, it’s better to pretend you agree—that, for some reason, if you don’t agree, then that means you don’t like them. It’s amazing. Again, of course there are exceptions. A good chunk of my family, for example, are not like this; and I know a fair number of tolerant, kind, progressive folks here who do bother to make distinctions between related groups and/or activities. But they are in the minority; and a significant minority at that. It certainly brings up a broad metaphysical question: is it “necessary” to have people and regions like this? Is this just an outpost (among others) that is taking longer than others to become more “enlightened,” more progressive, etc.? Obviously, one can’t decry a refusal to accept all sides of human nature while simultaneously damning a group for NOT accepting all sides of human nature. Or can you? Discuss. :)