Guangzhou Diary VI

Taxis here, while cheap, are generally an adventure for us on a variety of levels (and by “us,” I mean Westerners – although I’ve talked to some locals who experience some of the same issues).  To start with, a fair number of cabs will flat out not stop for Westerners.  Part of it, no doubt, is fear we won’t be able to tell them where we need to go/they won’t understand us, but the vast majority of the time it’s simple xenophobia.  Or, as previously mentioned, they’re just assholes!  Ha!

When they DO stop, it often is a challenge to make them understand, even in Chinese; but also due to the fact that many cab drivers are, like in some places in the states, recent arrivals and don’t know the city (I don’t know WHY so many migrants think it’s a good idea to get a job driving a cab in a new city that is completely unknown to them).  And don’t bother giving them street number addresses – they flat out don’t know them.  You’ve got to give them intersections and/or major landmarks and/or direct them. 

Finally, there is always the chance of some kind of unpleasant interaction/experience for whatever variety of reasons.  Two semi-recent examples: Bex offered Nicky and I a free cab ride to work one morning if we’d roll with her to stop at the post office on the way so she could get a package.  Well, the cab driver approached from the “wrong” way – that is, in the sense of not being able to make a left turn as he needed to from the way he came and tried to dump us off across the street and well beyond where we needed to go.  Considering Bex wanted us to stay/hold the cab while she went and got her package, this just wouldn’t do.  But Mr. Taxi Guy was MOST unpleasant about having to go well up and then come back on what was a VERY busy/crowded street in a “market area” part of town.  When he finally doubled back, Bex made motions for him to stay while she ran in and then hopped out to much screeching from him.  In the back seat, Nicky gave it right back to him as he cursed and tried to leave and made like he couldn’t wait, blah blah blah.  As if any of them give two squirts about inconveniencing anyone whenever it suits them.  I must admit, it’s quite entertaining to watch Nicky go at it with some of these cab drivers.  Neither one can understand the other, but it’s always entertaining for ME!  Anyway, because this is China, when Bex came back about 5 minutes later, it turned out there was no package because they had mistakenly “re-noticed” her for a previously delivered one!  Gotta love it!

Fun recent example #2.  Me, Bex, Nicky, and Angie all caught a cab right outside our Disney Center one night to head back to my hood for half-price pizza at the pub downstairs.  Well, for some reason waiting until all 4 of us piled in, the cab driver made it QUITE clear he didn’t want to take us. Not only didn't want to, but flat out refused.  No idea why.  He didn’t make a stink until it was either Nicky or Bex got in, so maybe he thinks they’re witches coz of their red hair.  In any case, he was QUITE empathic and asshole-ish about refusing to take us.  As luck would have it, another cab happened along, so Bex hopped out to snag it, with the rest of us staggering out to follow – with some choice words flung back at the dickhead cab driver.  Angie was last.  Well, just as we’re settling in the new cab and telling him where we want to go, the other cabbie comes up, jerks open the front door – surprising the shit out of Bex – and starts GOING OFF on us!  Yelling at the other cab driver, gesturing at us, particularly at Angie in the back, who then informed us she had made a point of taking a picture of him/his license before she got out to report his asshole behavior.  Well, woe to anyone who tries to take a picture in China if someone doesn’t want you to!  The new cab driver actually seemed to be enjoying the ruckus as his industry-mate went off on us, with the three ladies giving it right back to him.  I just sat there soaking in the experience, shaking my head and laughing – until Bex finally closed the door on him and he jerked MY door open and started going off!  Dude was PISSED.  Turns out, it’s most likely coz he wasn’t the guy the cab was licensed to – this is just conjecture, as Angie said the pic on his taxi license did NOT look like him, and was of a much younger man.  So it could have been an old pic, but the way he was responding....  And if I haven’t mentioned it before, the Chinese get really, REALLY angry when they’re called on their shit – Nicky called another cabbie on his attempt to take us “the long way” home one night and he went off on her for several blocks afterwards.  The upshot is, Angie’s phone was messed up and the picture didn’t even “take.”  But the guy got a good scare and we all got a “fun” experience out of it.  BONUS: the new cab driver got us to our destination toot sweet (wasn’t gonna mess with those crazy Disney girls!), for cheaper than usual, so we gave him a tip (they don’t tip here).  So yes, it’s always a possible adventure when we get in a cab.  J

NEXT:  Turns out the income tax system here is painfully simple.  There are just two tax rates: 20% and 25%.  The latter kicks in at a certain salary level, which is supposedly fairly high by China standards, but not really coz I am, unfortunately, at the 25% rate, and I’m on a teacher’s salary.  If you include my housing allowance, I’m making less than $30K annually.  There’s no tax return filing, either – so no refunds or having to pay at the end of the year.  At least this is the case for us “foreign devils.”

Someone asked me what I’m eating here.  Well, most of you will be unsurprised to hear I eat a lot of rice and a lot of noodles.  Oh, and dumplings/pot stickers.  One interesting thing: of course most everyone asked me, when they heard I was moving here, if I like Chinese food.  I do.  A lot.  But most all of those same people then smugly added (no doubt, because they heard someone else say it as I don’t know anyone else who has ever lived in China), “Now, you know the Chinese food you’ll get over there isn’t the same as Chinese food in the states.”  Well, duh!  But in the immortal words of Homer Simpson, waaaiiittt a minute….  Turns out, most of it actually is.  At least the same as the Chinese I got in San Francisco.  Of course SF has a massive Chinese population, but still, even I have been surprised at the similarity.  Sure, there are a lot of things I’ve seen here I never saw in the states, but just like in the states, there is “good” Chinese here and “bad” (read: low quality).  For example, I could live on fried rice.  I fucking LOVE that shit!  But, just as in the states, I find very few places that make it as good as I do (not bragging here, a lot of times your own homemade stuff is better coz you can cook it to your taste).  I get a lot of stir-fried green beans, chow fun noodles whenever I can, chow mein, etc.  I will admit I haven’t seen as much Kung Pao chicken, but I can find orange chicken, sweet and sour stuff, etc.  There’s definitely more variety here, but at the end of the day, it still tastes like…..you guessed it…Chinese food.

Now there are definitely things you DON’T see here.  Fortune cookies, egg rolls, General Tso’s Chicken, etc.  But those are all western concoctions.  They also don’t eat cheese.  I read something that says they’re all lactose intolerant, but this doesn’t explain all the yogurt they consume, and they do drink milk.  One theory is that crowded conditions throughout history made pasture farming not feasible.  But one person I asked claims it’s just psychological.  Really?  Curdled, moldy milk doesn’t sound appealing?  My god, they’re picky!  J 

Fun fact: when I googled, “Do the Chinese eat cheese?”  Auto fill first came up with the option, “Do the Chinese eat cats?"  Followed by “Do the Chinese eat cheese?”  Followed by “Do the Chinese eat dogs?”  So more people are curious about the Chinese eating cheese than dogs.  I’m not sure what this says, but I find it both amusing and disturbing at the same time.